I heard many things from my patients, but I made no catalogue of their comments beyond what I wrote in their charts. That said, here are a few that come to mind, without identifying anyone:
1. I am logical, not emotional.
I am too emotional.
It wasn’t my fault.
I have free will.
I don’t feel like I have any choice.
I’d rather not think about it.
What’s the point of talking about death?.
I will never be forgotten.
I will be forgotten. I am nothing.
The more money I have, the better.
11. Looksmaxxing will do the trick.
I am an intelligent person.
No, I haven’t read a book in quite a while.
My parents will always be there for me.
My parents screwed me permanently.
Yeah, they gave me a hard time, but just about all the folks on my block were like that.
God is on our side.
It can’t happen here.
It won’t happen here.
He did it to me; they did it to me.
21. Women are the problem.
I hate men.
I don’t need a man.
I want to be somebody.
Money. I need more money. Then I’ll be happy.
I want to show those people!
He would never do that to me.
I succeeded on my own. I am a self-made man. Everyone can achieve as much as I did.
Those people are lazy.
Those people are killers and rapists.
31. I have to be sure before I do anything.
I have to learn more before I try that.
I don’t have time.
It will all work out in the end.
It will never work out.
She said, “I know it must be painful, but it was part of God’s plan.”
I can’t get her out of my mind.
Oh, I learned my lesson. I won’t date anyone like that again! (Two weeks later, she did).
If I just get out of this job (or marriage), everything will be fine.
If I were as beautiful as she is, my life would be a lot better.
41. I’m beautiful and bright. I intimidate men. Women, too.
What I want is for a man/woman to “see” me.
From a man who had thoughts of blowing up an abortion clinic: “If bystanders get killed, they are just collateral damage.” (He was a faithful churchgoer.)
Too much is enough.
I’m not afraid to die.
It’s on my bucket list, but I have to wait until I retire.
I’ll have to do some research.
I’m going to get a different therapist.
They don’t deserve my money.
I trust him. I don’t need to ask him questions.
51. I have never told this to anyone.
I don’t want to hurt him.
You make money from the suffering of others.
Are you a Christian therapist?
You have a quiet concentration.
Thank you.
I should have said…
I wish I had said…
I’m sorry I said…
She was on her deathbed. Her last words to me were, “You’re such a jerk, Steven.”
61. You people…
You are wonderful.
I am in love with you.
I never found out if he/she/mom/dad loved me.
He/she gave me herpes.
I was raped.
I don’t give a shit.
I am only here because my wife wanted me to.
I am not an alcoholic.
I could stop if I wanted to.
71. I don’t want medication.
I am a bore.
If the sun is going to burst and kill us all and the whole planet, nothing is worthwhile. Why should I even try?
I’m at a loss for words.
I wouldn’t know what to tell him.
I am going to kill you.
I will close with a bit of conversation with a female patient who had long told me of the various indignities and wrongs she had suffered in her relationship. She had a good sense of humor:
“Doc, is there anything I can do to get him to understand? To change?”
“I don’t think they make mallets that big.”
Dr. Stein, you could probably write a psychological thriller based on all the things you’ve heard from patients, kicking off with that faithful churchgoing man who had thoughts of blowing up an abortion clinic.
Some loved you; others wanted to kill you. What an emotional, roller-coaster ride!
Fortunately, Rosaliene, only one person wanted to kill me! I am not sure about a thriller, but it was satisfying and endlessly interesting.
Thank the gods that one person did not have their way!
Thanks to you, Rosaliene, and whatever celestial being was involved.
Oh my goodness. What a ride, this post — framed in “they said it” quotes and confessions! Thank you, Dr. Stein.
You probably have an overlapping list, Vicki. We lived in the same psychological zip code, so to speak.
Yes…plenty of head nodding going on as I read. I love that you put it together into such a thoughtful offering for readers. Many thanks! 💝
It’s incredible to see the vast representation of various mindsets and approaches to life in this little slice of life. Thanks for sharing!
Hahaha, Dottor Stein, I think nothing has changed from your long list since Adam and Eve’s times!
Unfortunate, but true. With good people like you, however, Micaela, perhaps we will do better in the time ahead.
Life has many sides, as you know Dr. Stein! Many thanks for your contributions!
Thank you, Martina. Yes, many sides, and new ones as we step into a new stage of life. It is as if our entrance into those stages were like a new grade level in school with a portfolio of new assignments.
Absolutely, Dr. Stein, and many thanks for your interesting example:)
You are welcome and all the best, Martina!
Time, money, responsibility, love – this collection captures it all. I really like the way you contrasted statements with counterpoints. It makes me realize the importance of the questions we ask ourselves just like your post on that topic. Some real truthfulness and perspective is necessary.
Thank you, especially for you attention to some of the counterpoint. I should add, that sometimes the counterpoint occurred within the same person, of course. Be well, my friend.
This is hysterically funny. I absolutely love it. I was kind of depressed today. Two things really helped: playing piano (Grieg’s Holberg Suite) and your newsletter. I read it to my husband and now I’m sending it to my sister (her husband is an almost retired psychoanalyst, and both have had tons of therapy). Thank you for making me laugh.
Yes, there are places in it to make you laugh, and I am delighted you did, Enid. And you are a pianist, too. Wonderful! Glad your mood changed. Be well and thank you for commenting.
The featured photo is hilarious. I’ve heard number 25 (Money. I need more money. Then I’ll be happy.) so many times. Money doesn’t bring happiness by itself, no matter how much a person has.
You surely have that right, Edward. Johnny Carson was quoted as saying that when you have lots of money, you don’t have to worry about money, but you still have all the other problems. Thanks, Edward.
That’s spot on, maybe even more problems, since the super-rich are always working on ways to keep their money and avoid paying taxes.