I grant you that there are lots of things to think about, but today is another day to recover, mourn, cheer, blame, cry, or curse, depending on your position on the scale. They are all emotional words if you read them right.
Some analyze, too, but I will leave analysis aside as best I can.
Here is a bit of what you might call a thoughtful distraction by a famous writer, Robert Heinlein, and then a closing comment from me.
Well, how’s that? I love Rodin, as Heinlein clearly did, but the tragedy eludes me, maybe because I am not a woman.
We all age, and it is the nature of things. I have seen lovely older women, and I recognize not only the beauty of the present but automatically recreate, in my mind and my vision, some approximation of what Heinlein writes of their past beauty. But am I alone in seeing through the years and missing the tragedy of lost allurement?
I see the character in their faces, the aspect and complexity that only time allows.
My perspective as a man observes no sorry catastrophe in myself, though I am well beyond 70 and have had some challenging moments. We endure, regardless of gender, and know some things beyond this time and times past. We have no voice in trading our youth for that knowledge, but what can we do? Accept it and be grateful for what we’ve lived and still have ahead—quite a show ahead, I’d say!
We are on to what the ancient Chinese parable might characterize as “interesting times.”
Many women who are not young possess wisdom about this and other things. Their tragedy has been in their place in the world and its consequences. They are “interesting” in a way not captured in the parable. Such ladies have seen a lot, endured a lot, and won the character only they possess. I will have lunch with one soon, and she is over 90.
If I were you, I would be jealous!
Here’s to my lunch date, still a woman of mystery and much hard-won knowledge. She knows what it means to be a woman and the definition of misogyny.
Her name is Joan.
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The photo by Pedro Ribeiro Simões is called A Very Beautiful Older Woman, sourced from Wikimedia Commons.
I love this post so much, Dr Stein. I’m sure not a spring chicken anymore. I marvel at my husband who sees the woman within and admires and loves even more and better than he did when I was at my “peak.” In some ways, I regard myself with my life experience and wisdom to be far more attractive than young me was. Is that Joan? She is lovely, so lovely.
Thank you, Susan. Good for your husband! Yes, your description fits Joan, a real person I am lucky to be friends with. She will be pleased with your compliment.
Che meraviglia, Susan!
Your experience of love and how you with simplicity and sensitivity unveil it to us touches me deeply.
Auguri di cuore a voi due.
Thank you, Micaela. I will see more in my response to your second comment.
In praise of older women! I love this!
Thank you, Tamara. I know you are full of life. Your photo is lovely, as well. And your face is one of character.
I love that you are able to “see the character in their faces, the aspect and complexity that only time allows.” Enjoy your lunch date with Joan 🙂
Thank you, Rosaliene. I do and I will. And I see you.
Caro dottor Stein,
If this tragedy eludes you because you are a man, this I don’t know.
Wouldn’t be so sure…
This tragedy doesn’t elude me.
Because I’m a woman?
Not so sure…
Observing ageing people around me makes me feel not so sure.
Yes, my tragedy has been, still is, “my place in the world and its consequences.”
“I’m interesting in a way not captured by the parabole.”
Oh yes, I knew this since I was the little girl you see on the picture.
(Hope I didn’t misunderstand your comment on profound and, yes, tragic, magnifico! text you shared today with us. Well, hope I didn’t misundersand the text itself. Could happen as English isn’t my mother language, and I don’t want to use my dictionary, preferring spontaneity.)
I’m not a jealous person and always highly enjoy others’ happinesses.
Dottor Stein, I am so happy you will meet your “woman friend over 90” : che bello!
Auguro gioia profonda a tutti e due.
God bless you both.
My “tragedy” will transform itself in few hours in joy, with a concert for an audience and in a venue I don’t know yet.
Music is for me never tragedy, only a joy, a duty too! -my choice- because given by God.
There is much tragedy in the world and the moment we live in is fraught. If I explained this in a way that was difficult to understand, that is my fault, Micaela.
Giulini told me that he saw the world as both “beautiful and horrible.” My point was to try and distinguish the difference between the loss of a young girl’s easily observed beauty and the problem of mortality and changes which each of us experiences (some much more than others). That truth is true for men and women. But a young girl still can be seen even if she is older. One must look for that and the character and wisdom she has come to embody.
Thank you for your words. My heart goes out to you for the life tragedies you have experienced. And thank you for sharing the beauty in you.
So many things to appreciate in this post. Most of all, give my best to Joan.
Thank you for the passage from Heinlen’s “Stranger”. One of my all-time favorite books. The truth about hard won lessons carried within. Yes. Strength and resolve – characteristics of so many women I admire…aspire to be. A good tonic for the day, I say. 💕
Thank you, Vicki. Yes, there is still beauty in the world that needs to be made over. You are the best — and a beauty yourself.
Appreciate you, Dr. Stein. I do, I do. Take care! 💕
Yes, I agree, Dr. Stein, that we have to be grateful for what we have lived and still have ahead of us, even though it may not be easy! You are lucky to have the possibility to meet a woman of over 90! Many thanks.
Much appreciated, Martina. Not easy, indeed. We must encourage women to lead the way — women such as yourself, perhaps. And yes, I am lucky to know a woman over 90, one who offers more than age. Thank you, again!
Oh, this post pulls on so many threads. I love, “We have no voice in trading our youth for that knowledge, but what can we do? Accept it and be grateful for what we’ve lived and still have ahead—quite a show ahead, I’d say!”
Life is easier when I accept it. And your note of appreciation for the show ahead is a good one. Thank you for being a champion and encourager of women, Dr. Stein!
Thanks for your kind, response. I can hardly do otherwise, Wynne, as I have two adult daughters who I always thought not less than anyone else, man or woman. On the basis of recent evidence, we all must champion women!
Right!
There can be great tragedy in young beauty. Young women, no matter how beautiful, are often plagued by insecurities and over-reliant on validation from men in particular. There is no tragedy in getting older…just challenges. Years are a gift and some women (and men) grow into them better than others. Most women I know say their lives really began at 50 when they finally let go of the shackles of societies standards, judgements, and incessant focus on appearance. The older woman is not “prisoned” nor is her body “ruined”. I suppose this depends on who is doing the viewing, including one’s self.
Personally, I don’t find Heinlein’s quotation appealing, perhaps I’m just sensitive to some of his word choices. I do like the title of your post, though! Here is a Heinlein quote I like better.. perhaps even more fitting for our current times.
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.” 🙂
Thank you, Evelyn, for this beautifully written and thoughtful comment. I do like the Heinlein quote as well. A certain Vice President (or is it president of vice?) might enjoy it, don’t you think?
You read my mind!