We take many things for granted. Healthy young people don’t think of their bodies as an enormous gift. They take their physical capabilities as they are, with little thought.
Vision, walking, listening, and talking fall into the same category.
I understand a bit about hearing loss via accident. Six years ago, an ENT (ear, nose, and throat specialist) tried to remove wax from my left ear using a suction machine. The device made a screech (her word), impairing my ability to enjoy music without distortion thereafter.
Within six months, I’d come to accept my circumstances and bounce back to my baseline level of happiness. This year, I obtained new AI hearing aids that mitigate the damage to a degree I never expected.
A remarkable gift.
Humans tend not to anticipate the loss of others until they are gone, unless the relationship is already strained or heavily dependent on continuing support. One of the first experiences of such heartbreak in a child’s life occurs when a friend and her parents move away.
A possibly apocryphal story involves the famous baseball player Mickey Mantle, who had nightmares after his retirement. The dream found him attempting to crawl under a fence to return to playing at Yankee Stadium.
The slugger never made it onto the field in his sleeping fantasy. He got stuck beneath the imaginary barrier.
Some of those who were upset by the November 2024 election have discovered how much they assumed the republican form of democracy would last, as it had for almost 250 years.
When something is lost or we live with dread about the possibility, the value we place on the person or skill often increases. In cases where the prize remains retrievable, the individual may make an effort to prevent its disappearance.
Think of getting a new doctor to save a life, trying a painful or experimental treatment, or taking political action to defend a nation,
There are limits. Mickey Mantle never got back to his old ballpark except in a non-playing capacity. Performers on stage cannot retrieve the gifts of their youth and sometimes make the mistake of continuing their professional appearances to the point of embarrassment or worse.
Applause is like an addiction.
Arturo Toscanini, the famous symphony conductor, made his final appearance as leader of his NBC Orchestra in 1954, at the age of 87. In the next-to-last composition on the program, he froze. The maestro was later thought to have suffered a TIA (a mini-stroke).
Changes in attractiveness call up the issue of human vanity. The Wicked Queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs did not accept it when her stepdaughter began to outshine her in beauty. Rather than be less than “the fairest of them all,” as her magic mirror had always told her, she decided to murder her young competitor.
Humanity’s challenge is to adapt, from the beginning to the end of life. That said, the youthful can’t comprehend how much they will be changed by the hand of time. The future alterations of their qualities and the people they care about must be lived through to be understood.
Too often, appreciation of health and good fortune comes late.
A few are wise about this, however.
Sandy Koufax, the legendary Los Angeles Dodger pitcher, retired at age 30 due to chronic elbow pain, not wishing to cause permanent damage to his arm. The lefthander did not look back with regret, having achieved the top of his profession.
I’ve got a lot of years to live after baseball and I would like to live them with the complete use of my body. I don’t regret one minute of the last twelve years, but I think I would regret one year that was too many.[
As a consequence, Koufax, now 89, is remembered for his glorious final seasons, escaping the decline many performers experience in their last days on the field.
From the outside, the audience has an easier time adjusting to such things.
I attended numerous recitals by the pianist Rudolf Serkin. When age caught up to him, I decided not to attend any more of his performances. I wished to remember him as he was at the peak of his artistic technique and imagination, not as a man who should have left earlier.
Mother Nature has her way, with some surgical exceptions. Cosmetic surgery is a prime example of the value placed on appearance.
Losses also confer unexpected benefits. Research reveals that men and women tend to be happier in old age than in youth and midlife.
Loren Olsen notes in Psychology Today that improvements in perspective and attitude can be associated with aging, despite the unwanted physical and mental changes that aging entails. His list includes:
- Acceptance of self and others
- The desire for a deeper connection
- Wisdom and empathy
- Capacity for forgiveness
- Gratitude
- Resilience
- Less emotional volatility and impulsivity
Urgency due to the shortness of time ahead need not cause anxiety and terror. Many make the most of their remaining time instead of wasting it. The value of time increases when Mother Nature does not compromise the body and brain excessively.
I don’t imagine you want to become old, but you might be surprised at how much pleasure you take when you are.
As WFMT radio’s Studs Terkel used to say, “Take it easy, but take it.”
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The list quoted from Loren Olsen was obtained from the online version of Psychology Today, July 21, 2023: To Be Happier, Start Thinking Like an Old Person: The Paradoxes of Aging, Mental Health, and Positivity.
The photos, in order, are of Mickey Mantle in 1956, Mantle hitting a home run in the 1952 World Series on YouTube, Sandy Koufax in 1964, Arturo Toscanini, and Rudolf Serkin.
