Heartbreak is not limited to romance. The departures of pets and people are not so different in triggering the sadness of lost love.
A break with living, lifelong friends, too, weighs heavily upon the soul.
The best childhood companions, akin to brothers and sisters, know you better than anyone else. They live in the same neighborhood, at the exact moment in history. Buddies visit the selfsame stores, walk the worn streets, and play on the gravel, asphalt, and dirt fields, which soon vanish and turn into shared memories.
Spending so much time together brings young men close. Each one spoke to the other’s parents and bathed in their goodwill, eating at their table.
Chums of half a lifetime or more remember teachers, recall the jokes heard in the hallways, and endure the tests of growing up, getting grades, and making a life.
Trust grows with time if the companions are well-matched. Like lovers who rub each other raw upon occasion, you break up and you make up. Your spouse hears about your past and your secrets, but can never witness yesterday’s events as they unfold.
She interprets your description of who you were, sharing a life with who you are.
And then? Time can splinter the old gang and the ones you are closest to. The spouse might not approve of your pal or your mate’s girlfriend. Moving away, changes in status and wealth, the need to attend to one’s children, and the business of life stretch the rubber band of affection.
Differences arise. Hurt feelings enter from words and actions as if dropping from the sky. If they repeat, temporary reconciliation might reach a breaking point. Yet, out there somewhere, the person who remembers your parents and your siblings when they were young still exists.
Apologies require courage and hope. When endings happen, the comrade lives as part of you, sometimes preoccupying you as much as a first love you never get over.
As long as there is life in two people, the possibility of reunion may also live on. When one of the pair has grieved the loss and realizes reconciliation will not work, then the end of closeness precedes a different kind of departure.
I have treated such heartbreak as a therapist, and lived it, as well. Some things can be healed, others cannot. Gratitude for the grand times past remains a blessing if you can manage it.
My advice? Make as many friends as you can and show all the kindness of which you are capable.
AI tells us this:
A long-term Harvard study found that strong relationships are the most important factor in a happy and long life, more so than money or fame.
The best direction?
Always look for love.
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The top picture is Friendship Bond as created by Kwesi2002. The photo below is of Red Breaks by John Fowler, from Placitas, NM, USA. Both are sourced from Wikimedia Commons.
