Therapists are born with the capacity to become confident but have only that possibility when they begin seeing patients as a part of their training. The trainees watch videos of their work, listen to changes in their voice, and observe their own body language, as well as a client’s movements, subtle changes of expression, and tone of voice. These budding psychologists receive guidance regarding when to speak, when to remain quiet, and whether a topic is ripe for attention or still too tender to touch.
Any and all of these considerations play a part in how the treatment process moves forward, if indeed it progresses at all.
Learning your craft is painstaking and painful. Your supervisors describe every weakness and strength. They should. The best of them challenge you to make yourself into what you must become to serve your clients. Your human flaws are dissected and examined. Left untreated, the new professional will inflict them onto and into the people he promised to care for.
It isn’t easy. It shouldn’t be easy. But it helps you become the best you can be, someone who is worthy of trust and an individual who accumulates wisdom if it is in you to learn what the human soul consists of — the light and the dark of it.
If you are as conscientious as you should be, you will take your failures and successes home at the start of your career. Yes, a counselor must learn to keep a therapeutic distance and protect himself from complete identification with the client’s suffering. Your best work cannot cause your own emotional collapse, but you must not be indifferent.
The whole enterprise of psychotherapy is a tightrope walk.
There are no shortcuts; if you are doing your job, you must keep up with the literature in your field of expertise. You are expected to be an expert, but that requires you to grow as the body of knowledge in your area grows. No one will pay you for this; no one will applaud this. It is your responsibility.
Funny, but one of the best comments on excellence in any field comes from a famous baseball pitcher, Vernon Law:
Some people are so busy
learning the tricks of the trade
that they never learn the trade.
I recently discussed that trade with Wynne Leon and Dr. Victoria Atkinson for their podcast, Sharing the Heart of the Matter:
Episode 20: The Art of the Interview with Dr. Gerald Stein on Anchor.
During our conversation, we talked about some of the things I learned and how I came to learn them during sessions with my clients, interviewing members of the Chicago Symphony for its Oral History Project, and working as an expert witness. I also described my understanding of the human tendency to render simplistic judgments of others. Finally, Wynne Leon and Dr. Atkinson asked me about matters of the heart involving a psychiatrist I knew, Dr. Jerry Katz, and my father.
Those matters of the heart fit the focus of Sharing the Heart of the Matter.
I hope you will listen: Episode 20: The Art of the Interview with Dr. Gerald Stein on Anchor.
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The photo of A Session with a Psychotherapist is the work of Mike Renlund. It was sourced from Wikimedia Commons.
I loved the story you told about Dr. Katz…and the whole of our chat with you, Dr. Stein. And this post highlights why I enjoy reading your blog. Your thoughts about therapeutic work and what it’s like to be in a position of great trust all while witnessing, as you said, ‘the light and dark’ of the human soul. Oh my. I feel that…and the imagery of tightrope walking. Yes – that, too. Thank you. 💕
Well, as a man who fell off the tightrope a few times, your appreciation means even more to me. Thank you again for the chance to visit your podcast. You and Wynne are both winners!
Right back at you…thank you, thank you! 😊
Wow, you have packed a lot of responsibility and truth into this post, Dr. Stein. “But it helps you become the best you can be, someone who is worthy of trust and an individual who accumulates wisdom if it is in you to learn what the human soul consists of — the light and the dark of it.”
It was such an honor to talk with you about all your accumulated wisdom. Thank you for taking the time to do the podcast – and also for posting about it!
It might disappoint you, Wynne, to discover all my alleged wisdom is actually part of an advertising campaign for my new business, “Wisdom Loans.” Our motto is “Trust us. All of our employees are required to read Plato.”
Unfortunately, the first question of most of our potential customers is, “Who is Plato”?
Seriously, the podcast was a pleasure, most of all for the chance to meet you and Vickie virtually. Thank you!
A fascinating read. Enjoyed hearing about your learning process on the way to becoming an effective therapist. It’s certainly not all fun and games! And I enjoyed the interview, learning about your “extracurricular” work and seeing how your knowledge and skills provided a solid grounding there also. I’ve just gotten a volunteer interviewing job and picked up a few tips!
Thank you, Lois. Your resilience is matched only by how you remake your life and keep it interesting and rewarding. I’ve just begun “Marv Taking Charge” and will get back to you as soon as I finish, which won’t be long. Beautifully written and touching so far. And I’m learning more about you and from you, as well, of course, about and from Marvelous Marv.
Everything is a process isn’t it?!
I didn’t have a good view of therapists when my daughter had severe digestive issues and was diagnosed with severe IBS when she was a kid. However, since she had other symptoms they couldn’t figure out, the gastroenterologist and the psychotherapist both came to the conclusion that I was the cause of her symptoms, told my daughter so, and that created a rift between us where previously there wasn’t one.
She believed it, because she told her father and some of the teen church leaders, and they jumped on the bandwagon with the doctors, because doctors know best, and that only solidified the opinion that I was the cause.
She was only recently diagnosed with Celiac disease after a doctor finally decided to give the the test, a couple of decades later. Had her original doctor ordered the test, so much physical and emotional anguish could have been avoided.
Unfortunately, my story isn’t an isolated one. I hear too often how mother’s get blamed for physical conditions their kids have, when there isn’t an easy diagnosis. I hope that can change in the medical community.
Docs are human and make mistakes. Sometimes they blame the patient or the parent. I am sorry this happened to you, Tamara.
I had the experience of a major surgical error as well as a separate equipment failure due to an ENT. That said, many of us wouldn’t be alive but for talented and well-trained psychologists and physicians.
If one has the ability to read and understand medical research, and ask the right questions of the professional, it often helps. Buyer beware.