We desire.
Since we are human, wanting something or someone has always been characteristic of our species.
What is it? What fuels us to covet and yearn? When does that longing go off the tracks, consuming another and ourselves?
What do we want to possess beyond success? Success translates into money, power, and things. Perhaps one cannot live without a Rembrandt painting, a high public office, influence, or fame. It can also be food, a commodity we must consume, though not with the rapaciousness we often indulge in.
Producing children is dependent on erotic wanting, and so is winning a mate. Physical attraction, a healthy body, and the ability to protect and support a family all contribute to the continuation of a human future.
Everyone seeks happiness and gratification. Desire is alert to those actions and goals that take us to an emotional state different from what we otherwise occupy. The aroma and appearance of food drive hunger. Appetites remind us of the objects we must have.
Of course, lasting satisfaction is not guaranteed. Once the thirst is fulfilled, it departs. One then embraces the mate long wished for, cradles the baby forever hoped for, or calls out the new female champion’s name, hoping she will secure them both.
Humans continue pursuing objectives they believe will elevate pleasure or nobility—goodness. The Christmas toy one dreamed of gets put away and replaced by another.
Something better?
Perhaps superior, or so we think for a while. Novel and different? No matter, almost all of the playthings get replaced.
Socrates described a soul’s desire as being driven by two horses. The darker horse represented passion, while the other embodied reason. The philosopher didn’t suggest we rid ourselves of the black steed but favored the white horse who would prevent the former’s zeal from leading us astray.
Many Homo Sapiens give the impression of spending their lives on a treadmill of acquisition. Influencers model what we should have, and the ads announce that we “deserve it.” Tastemakers attempt to provide an argument appealing to both emotion and intellect.
The thrill of the sweater purchased yesterday is like the smell of a new car. Intoxicating for the moment, it soon becomes a matter of indifference. The dazzle fades, so another is obtained.
Might we search for something better, more lasting, more satisfying? Socrates argued for reason over man’s tendency to be swept away and worshipful of the things and people we wrongly idealize and idolize.
Placing logic over passion is often beyond us. A sober attempt is required to create an intellectual distance from yearning, the better to use the time to reflect upon our life’s direction.
The voices inundating us with instructions and recommendations of their preferred cravings are always in the background—some shouting, some whispering.
Consider creating a catalog of everything you have sought up to now. The list should include those things or people you thought would change, fulfill, or enhance your life in a lasting fashion.
Place your goals in one column and create a second column describing what happened when you attained them.
Did getting the hefty pay raise make you happy? How long did your positive feelings last? Did an accumulation of wealth or an increase in status obtain the admiration of those you wished to attract or impress?
Might you have lived happily without their approval? Why does the opinion of others carry so much weight for you?
Did the time spent doing work please you, or only the money you were paid for performing it?
Does the consumption driven by your desires take advantage of another and harm yourself? Where do kindness, respect, civility, and thoughtfulness fit in? Do your actions reflect respect for the freedom and integrity of your fellow women and men?
Where are the white and black horses headed right now? Do they seek the values you profess? Do you say no to desire when it contradicts your values?
Should you change course?
The famous English poet William Wordsworth wrote the following:
Getting and spending we lay waste our powers.
Of course, he could have been just another influencer.
His product?
Wisdom.
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The top image is a poster for the 1951 movie A Streetcar Named Desire, created by Bill Gold for Warner Brothers. It is followed by Human/Need/Desire, the 1983 work of Bruce Nauman. The first was sourced from Wikimedia Commons, the second from Wikiart.org/
It seems as if you are referring to “empty success” which only creates more desire for the next accolade or acquisition. Then there is the desire for certain feelings, as opposed to objects or goals, such as wholeness, connection, joy, intimacy, purpose, vitality. These core desires can be just as strong, perhaps healthier, but their attainment more elusive.
I would say that part of the human dilemma is excess, wanting more, never having enough and the comparisons we make related to them. I agree that the desire for the feelings you list are worthy, but, as you say, elusive. Friendship and love offer some of those feelings. So does raising a child. Thank you for your thoughtful perspective, Evelyn.
Your reference to voices in the background shouting and whispering about cravings feels spot-on. A sort of unavoidable, cultural insidiousness that’s hard to avoid. And Wordsworth as an influencer? Thanks for the smile. True enough! 😉
Glad you smiled, Vicki. Yes, billions of dollars go into persuading us what we must have in order to be happy. What too often goes unheard, unacted upon, is to find and give love, including to our neighbor and those in need.
Thank you for all of that, Dr. Stein! 🥰
Somehow Dr Stein you always manage to post a relevant topic at the time when some form or another is impacting my own life. You have done it again. If I was still married to the person I would present this post to him. Maybe your words would sink in. Mine words never have and in this case I am still, 7 years later, being impacted by his “desires”.
Thank you for the generosity of your words, Deb. I am sorry that the suffering hasn’t ended. Just your writing, which is all I know of you, tells me of your intellect, wit, and depth of beauty. He missed the boat.
Thank you. That is a very lovely thing to say Dr. Stein. He is a very troubled man so I believe, even though it took time to accept, that I am very much the lucky one at this point.
Re “Many Homo Sapiens give the impression of spending their lives on a treadmill of acquisition“
At the core of homo sapiens is unwisdom (ie, madness) and so the human label of “wise” (ie, sapiens) is a complete collective self-delusion — study the free scholarly essay “The 2 Married Pink Elephants In The Historical Room” … http://www.CovidTruthBeKnown.com (or https://www.rolf-hefti.com/covid-19-coronavirus.html)
“When a well-packaged web of lies has been sold gradually to the masses over generations, the truth will seem utterly preposterous and its speaker, a raving lunatic.” — Dresden James
Once you understand that humans are “invisibly” insane (pink elephant people, see cited essay) you’ll UNDERSTAND (well, perhaps) why they, especially their alleged experts, perpetually come up with myths and lies about everything … including about themselves (their nature, their intelligence, their origins, their “supreme” status, etc).
“All experts serve the state and the media and only in that way do they achieve their status. Every expert follows his master, for all former possibilities for independence have been gradually reduced to nil by present society’s mode of organization. The most useful expert, of course, is the one who can lie. With their different motives, those who need experts are falsifiers and fools. Whenever individuals lose the capacity to see things for themselves, the expert is there to offer an absolute reassurance.” —Guy Debord
“Repeating what others say and think is not being awake. Humans have been sold many lies…God, Jesus, Democracy, Money, Education, etc. If you haven’t explored your beliefs about life, then you are not awake.” — E.J. Doyle, songwriter
Isn’t it about time for anyone to wake up to the ULTIMATE DEPTH of the human rabbit hole — rather than remain blissfully willfully ignorant in a narcissistic fantasy land and play victim like a little child?
The official narrative is… “trust official science” and “trust the authorities” but as with these and all other “official narratives” they want you to trust and believe …
“We’ll know our Disinformation Program is complete when everything the American public [and global public] believes is false.” —William Casey, a former CIA director=a leading psychopathic criminal of the genocidal US regime
“Separate what you know from what you THINK you know.” — Unknown
Quite a commentary, Tim. I appreciate the time it took you to write it. I am not blind to flaws in the human condition, but not ready to bundle all of us into one category. That said, I will take a look at the essay and thank you for sending it.
Sadly, we live in a global economy built on continual consumption to support continued economic growth. Feeding our desires therefore becomes essential to maintaining consumption across all aspects of our lives. Failure to get on the “treadmill of acquisition” can result in failure to achieve our goals, of being left behind.
The treadmill of acquisition doesn’t seem to be creating truckloads of satisfaction. Being left behind might open some room to think of the values that give life a less punishing quality, not to mention a moderation that would leave room to help others. Of course, we are addicted to the treadmill, so we might have to get off it long enough to think about what the treadmill costs us. Thank you, Rosaliene.
Thankfully, Dr. Stein, I’m no longer on that treadmill.
Brava, Rosaliene!