Change and the need to adjust to change make many of us uneasy. This raises the question of how much happiness depends on stability and the smooth flow of life.
Let’s start our conversation here:
I think you’ll agree we prefer our neighborhoods to remain safe and our savings secure. We hope our friends stay nearby and our loved ones live forever.
Fate has its own plans for better or worse.
Many tend to dismiss the benefits of creative invention. It is easy to forget the summertime fear of polio or that Franklin D. Roosevelt, President of the United States from 1933 to 1945, was one of its victims when he was 39 years old. Today, we are lucky to have antibiotics and polio shots, not to mention COVID and flu vaccinations or the Statin reduction of cardiovascular disease.
People are more inclined to think about troubling alterations to our lives that require us to adapt. Many dread climate change and unpredictable moves requiring work in or out of the office. Closing a favorite store or a terrific restaurant counts as a loss, as does our children’s departure to another state or country.
Social Science researchers have added something to the question of change, happiness, and the effect of life transformations on well-being. It is a list of life events called the Social Readjustment Rating Scale: Updated and Modernized,* a 2022 revision of the original scale developed in 1967 by Holmes and Rahe.**
The scale measures the impact, usually considered stress, various life changes create. Numerical values range from 0 to 100, with marriage assigned a value of 50. The higher the number, the more stress.
For example, according to Holmes and Rahe, the death of a spouse causes the most distress, while something like a parking ticket is at the bottom of the scale.
Think about marriages. Are they not joyous celebrations followed by dream-like honeymoons? Yet, once they begin, they sometimes require uncomfortable adjustments in how you live.
The scale’s creators believed that the more stress-inducing episodes of whatever kind within a year, the more impact they have on well-being and health. They included events that might be welcomed as happy occurrences, like pregnancy, a significant boost in one’s financial status, or an outstanding personal achievement.
Indeed, there is a correlation between stress accumulation and illness. Still, it isn’t sufficiently robust to predict sickness, anxiety, depression, or the extreme versions of such misfortune.
One notable finding in the 2022 study is that life has become more stressful since publication of the first version of the scale in 1967. Many items are rated as more stress-inducing than before—no surprise.
I listed the items on the questionnaire below without identifying the numerical stress values (life change units) assigned to them. Instead, as you think about how challenging change can be, I hope you remember a few things:
Research suggests that humans are built to handle considerable discomfort caused by change. Your 19th-century ancestors almost certainly had a tougher time than you do. Today, most of us in the U.S.A. live better than kings and queens in the days past.
Second, the rating scale implies that to avoid every stress, you must maintain an unchanging existence, avoid all the things you find difficult, give up some of the most attractive goals you are shooting for, and somehow avoid or prevent conditions out of your control.
Doing so would inadvertently eliminate many desirable and wonderous experiences, including those that could give meaning to your life. In other words, no one following this plan would enjoy or benefit from it.
Third, you are likely to face most of the listed stressors over your lifetime. Some will test you, but I suspect, in time, you can find happiness despite them. You will do better if you recognize them as a part of life–of what it means to be human–than as a curse.
Fourth, it is a mistake to assume all the smiling faces around you are without significant problems. No one is joyous at every moment nor shielded from the arrows of living. Their level of resilience or grit should not be deemed less than yours unless you and they have both experienced almost identical misfortune. In any case, such comparisons have little value during a period when you are dealing with high stress or suffering.
The underlying point is that with experience, we can find joy and learning in the game of life—not always, but often. With time, we can gain the confidence to take it on.
Beauty, kindness, fascination, love, friendship, laughter, enlightenment, and wisdom are all available. Accepting that life is messy and you aren’t a vacuum cleaner will help you find them.
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Now for the SOCIAL READJUSTMENT RATING SCALE: UPDATED AND MODERNIZED ITEMS:
To fill out the scale below, you must answer whether or not you experienced the 44 listed events in the last year by signifying yes or no: The first “o” would be checked if you wish to say yes, and the second “o” to respond no.
Life Event: Yes No
1. Marriage o o
2. Losing your job (e.g. redundancy, dismissal, etc.) o o
3. Change in religious activities (e.g. a lot more or a lot less than
usual) o o
4. Revision of personal habits (e.g. dress, manners, associations) o o
5. Sexual difficulties o o
6. Trouble with in-laws o o
7. Major change in health or behavior of family member o o
8. Taking on a mortgage or loan for a major purchase (e.g. home, business) o o
9. Taking on a loan for a lesser purchase (e.g. car, furniture) o o
10. Change in eating habits (e.g. a lot more or a lot less food intake, or
very different meal hours or surroundings) o o
11. Pregnancy either yourself or being the father o o
12. Troubles with boss o o
13. Change in financial state (e.g. a lot worse off or a lot better off than
usual) o o
14. Change to a different line of work o o
15. Marital reconciliation o o
16. Change in number of arguments with spouse/life partner (e.g.
either a lot more or a lot less than usual regarding child-rearing,
personal habits, etc.) o o
17. Change in living conditions (e.g. building new home, remodeling,
deterioration of neighborhood or home) o o
18. Outstanding personal achievement o o
19. Retirement o o
20. Business readjustment (e.g. merger, reorganization, bankruptcy) o o
21. Spouse/life partner begins or stops work o o
22. Change in residence o o
23. Change in sleeping habits (e.g. a lot more or a lot less, or change
in part of day when asleep) o o
24. Gain of new family member (e.g. through birth, adoption,
grandparent moving in) o o
25. Change in work hours or conditions o o
26. Son or daughter leaving home (e.g. attend college, marriage) o o
27. Change in responsibilities at work (e.g. promotion, demotion,
lateral transfer) o o
28. Change in social activities (e.g. clubs, dancing, movies, visiting) o o
29. Divorce o o
30. Personal injury or illness o o
31. Death of close family member o o
32. Change in recreation type/amount o o
33. Death of spouse/life partner o o
34. Change in number of family get-togethers (e.g. a lot more or a lot
less than usual) o o
35. Detention in jail or other institution o o
36. Marital separation o o
37. Vacation o o
38. Foreclosure/repossession on mortgage or loan o o
39. Death of close friend o o
40. Changing to a new school o o
41. Begin or end formal schooling o o
42. Christmas o o
43. Minor violations of the law (e.g. traffic/parking tickets) o o
44. Single person, living alone o o
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*https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10727443/
**Holmes, T. H., & Rahe, R. H. (1967). The Social Readjustment Rating Scale. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 11(2), 213–218.
The first photo is called Happy Life and is the work of Rasheedhrasheed. It is followed by a photo of Carla Bruni-Sarkozy by Remi Jouan. Finally, Two Blossom-headed Parakeets by Touhid biplob. All of these are sourced from Wikimedia Commons.
so interesting, and really puts it all in perspective, when comparing ourselves to our ancestors and their challenges, knowing that we will all go through most of these in our lifetimes, and understanding that everyone is dealing with changes/stressors even if they may not appear to be. great post.
Thank you, Beth. Indeed, I hoped those would be the takeaways. It all makes life endlessly interesting, in the sense of the old Chinese proverb, at times.
p.s. the times of change in my life, have also been my greatest periods of personal growth
Yes. I am glad. Doubtless, you learned to be open to the challenges. Thanks, Beth.
Lots to think about in this one Dr. Stein. Important things… I ran through the list, almost all no’s if I look at just this last year. Positives and negatives with that I think. Little to no stress right now but rather stagnant in the change department! Maybe a call to shake things up a bit…in a non-stress-filled way? 😉
Deb, Somehow I missed the proper placement of my reply to your comment. Please check it out below. My apologies.
Hmm, it was an interesting scan to perform. I have added a family member (Cooper counts, right?), vacation, a parking ticket, and Mr. D has gone to Kindergarten.
I love “your point that “The underlying point is that with experience, we can find joy and learning in the game of life—not always, but often. With time, we can gain the confidence to take it on.”
Your emphasis on joy and learning really resonates with me. Not always easy to find in the ups and downs of life — but the moments are there!
Great wisdom and perspective. Thank you, Dr. Stein!
If you can find joy in all the roles you play, Wynne, you are a champion juggler among your other titles. As they say, “When the going out gets tough, the tough get going!”
Appreciate your insights, Dr. Stein. The Holmes & Rahe scale is useful for building awareness – even if the inventory isn’t completed. I’ve found a scan of the items included as stressors is enough to encourage thoughtfulness about the compounding influences – especially when stressors stack. And your point about our ancestors and their burdensome lives in comparison to our more modern existence. I’m sure there are plenty of studies somewhere on this topic, but I always come back to the distinction between stress and threats in the past that were more palpable, visible – in comparison to the worrying and broadness of stressors in present day, thanks to advances in technology of all sorts. High speed communication, destructive messages, unsettling images. Challenging one’s ability to filter out threats and stressors. You make that point beautifully for me in the title of your post. No. We’re not meant to “Hoover” up everything around us. A perfectly timed post for me this morning. I spent most of my day yesterday helping a young woman who cannot absorb or carry one more thing. Time to empty out what’s beyond her control. For her own health and happiness. Thank you. 💕
You are welcome, Vicki. Glad it was useful. With respect to the young woman, we live in a society that expects us to do more, work harder, and put in more hours. Not everyone can or should. An article in today’s WP points to what can happen to medical residents when the job is too much. Worth reading and a cautionary message. Thank you for your always thoughtful reflections.
Thank you for the WP tip – I’ll look for that. Appreciate you! ❤️
I am glad the year was not too much for you, Deb. The scale has mostly been used to focus on a year at a time. If you are in a position to take on a challenge, I am sure you will do so when you are ready. The world does need some repair, and you are one whose good soul could help. Good luck, Deb.
Dr. Stein, thanks for yet another informative and insightful post. I was unaware of the Social Readjustment Rating Scale that was definitely in need of an update. As you point out, stressors change over time and cannot be avoided once we engage with society. I’m here today because my ancestors survived and grew strong in confronting the immense stressors of their day.
You are welcome, Rosaliene. Knowing what I do of your background, I don’t doubt that your ancestors were made of sturdy stuff. That said, you are the kind of person I’d want beside me in a foxhole. Thank you.
I appreciate your confidence, Dr. Stein 🙂 Sadly, age has taken its toll when it comes to the frontline 🙁
Unfortunately, I also have some personal experience in that department, but I still believe in you!
🙂 <3
Wow. “Single person, living alone.” No wonder I made a rather quick decision a few weeks ago to move to a co-op building for folks over 62.(I’m overqualified😉). I’m still in a huge mess but what fun it is hearing life around me when I’m in my unit and bumping into people when I go out. I am a bit stressed owning two places yet, but I’m thrilled to be relieved from caring for a house, and I’m closer to my daughter and her family now, so this quick decision undoubtedly will turn out great. I’m not a good “loner,” so six years of widowhood living alone was enough!
This sounds like just the right choice for you, Lois. The others in the co-op are lucky to have you there. Hope all is well with Kath & Michael. Tell them I said hello and keep me posted on all the rest.
Will do!
“You are not a vacuum cleaner.”
We may not be able to clean up all the problems around us, but neither are we mentally or emotionally capable of absorbing all the negatives around us without it making us feel a little nuts, erm, anxious!
You’re right. Keeping things in perspective is key to happiness, as is setting healthy boundaries!
You’ve said it well, Tamara. Thanks!