What must we do to become humane? This question has always existed for those who seek the best in people — love, friendship, and the creation and preservation of all forms of beauty. We want a safe world that allows us to grow into our best selves.
Hannah Arendt* described the challenge:
The world is not humane just because it is made by human beings, and it does not become humane just because the human voice sounds in it, but only when it has become the object of discourse … We humanize what is going on in the world and in ourselves only by speaking of it, and in the course of speaking of it we learn to be human.
The Greeks called this humanness which is achieved in the discourse of friendship philanthropia, ‘love of man,’ since it manifests itself in a readiness to share the world with other men.
As you doubtless noticed, the English borrowed from the Greeks to produce the word philanthropy, which Oxford Languages defines as “the desire to promote the welfare of others, expressed especially by the generous donation of money to good causes.”
To progress in our humanity, we must engage with people we don’t know, especially those who are unlike us. Who might they be? Those of a different color, socioeconomic status, customs, ideas, national origin, religion, etc.
If you have read the Homeric epic poems The Iliad and The Odyssey, you will remember that a stranger to a new place would be welcomed by a native there. He would be given food and shelter. It was typical to provide him with a gift and to receive a gift from him in return. This was called philoxenia (my emphasis here and below), a love of strangers in which the unfamiliar traveler and his benefactor were turned into friends.
This word is the opposite of xenophobia, the fear, mistrust, or dislike of an individual who is foreign or strange to you.
What kind of conversation might enhance our humanity and relationships? Arendt, again, points the way:
Truly human dialogue differs from mere talk or even discussion in that it is entirely permeated by pleasure in the other person and what he says.
He will doubtless sometimes say things about which we disagree. What then?
Retopistics: A Renegade Excavation, 2001, by Julie Mehretu, Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art
Zygmunt Bauman** offered this in 2003:
The fact that others disagree with us is not an obstacle on the road to human community. But our conviction that our opinions are the whole truth, nothing but the truth and above all the sole truth that there is, and our belief that other people’s truths, if different from ours, are ‘mere opinions’ — are such an obstacle.
If there were only one set of answers, all known to each of us, conversation would become pointless and boring. We are enriched by those who are different when we permit ourselves to overcome a hesitancy and fear of them that is often misplaced.
Consider this as you think about the prejudice and stereotyping of those we do not know. Individuals with “all the answers” do not enter into conversations with the openness that creates humane discourse with people unlike themselves—the strangers who might become friends, if only …
They, too—the outsiders—want to be loved, noticed, and understood, to inform and be informed, to help and be helped, touched, cared for and caring, applauded, encouraged, and allowed to work hard and stay safe. They are all around us, driving cars, making music, standing at the bus stop, writing poetry, fixing machines, working in the stores we visit, displaying computer expertise, going to school, filing tax returns, and caring for their children and ours.
As David Held*** wrote in 2002, in dark times, we must remember that “history is still with us and can be made” in the best possible way: in a humane fashion that serves ourselves, our shared prosperity, and those we might make friends with in conversation.
Every day is an opportunity. Let us all make that history.
++++++++++
The top image is the work of Laura Hedien, with her kind permission: A Winter Day Near Chequamegon, WI, March 5, 2025. Laura Hedien Official Website.
*Hannah Arendt. On Humanity in Dark Times: Thoughts about Lessing” (Address on accepting the Lessing Prize of the Free City of Hamburg. (1959)
**Bauman, Zygmunt. (2003). Liquid Love: On the Frailty of Human Bond. Cambridge, UK: Polity Press.
***Held, David (200). Violence, Law, and Justice in a Global Age. Constellations, 9 (1):74-88 (2002)
Outstanding post, Dr Stein. I love reading the quotes and seeing the art you include. The idea of creating a humane history is very inspiring.
Thank you, Susan. Yes, we can try to bring our best self to the world and make it better by so doing. Simple and necessary.
Dr. Stein, thanks for articulating so well this much needed reminder of openness towards the stranger. As a nation, we’ve not been doing too well in conversing amicably with even our allies.
A very good point, Rosaliene. When we quarrel even with those we favor, the chance of our showing kindness to those we don’t know is reduced. As I have written before, we must look ourselves in the mirror before we look with distain at others.
So true, Dr. Stein.
Some crazy times. Hoping people find comfort in healthy ways.
Thank you, Laura. You provide a good example in your travels and your artful photographic capture of the beauty of the natural world.
So meaningful, brining a resounding message, especially considering the state of the world today. And, I love that abstract painting. I want it in my home!
Yes, Enid, the painting is striking. I saw it among a selection of the 100 best paintings of this century. While I think such listings are questionable in any form of art, this painting is surely special. Thank you for commenting and subscribing. Your sentiments on the world are consistent with my own.
Thank you, Dr. Stein for the introduction to Zygmunt Bauman. I love this:
“If there were only one set of answers, all known to each of us, conversation would become pointless and boring. We are enriched by those who are different when we permit ourselves to overcome a hesitancy and fear of them that is often misplaced.”
So much wisdom in just two sentences. 💕
Thank you, Vicki. I couldn’t let Bauman say all that was worthwhile, so I slipped those sentences in! Glad you found them.
The art of conversation, of being able to entertain any thoughts other than the most popular is an art. Humaneness is slipping away in many circles, yet it is precious and needs to be practiced often so it doesn’t rust and cease!
Agreed, Tamara. I fear that some adults got out of the habit during the pandemic and some school aged children never learned. The cause of humanity is, as you say, slipping away. All the more important that we embrace it in our contact with strangers. Thank you.
I love this encouragement to be open. “If there were only one set of answers, all known to each of us, conversation would become pointless and boring. We are enriched by those who are different when we permit ourselves to overcome a hesitancy and fear of them that is often misplaced.”
In my blue bubble, I can often forget to engage a different view point. Thank you for the encouragement!
Thank you, Wynne. I think a good part of being happy in life is turning things upside down and inside out, changing one’s perspective both as a kind of intellectual play, as well as discovering that the ability to do that solves a number of problems that come our way. I’m sure you already do it!
Hannah Arendt’s quote is powerful and would solve many problems: “Truly human dialogue differs from mere talk or even discussion in that it is entirely permeated by pleasure in the other person and what he says.” Real and meaningful dialogue is what this world needs. Thank you, Dr. Stein, for this insightful post.
You bet, Edward. Perhaps we should open a stand such as Lucy used in “Peanuts” for meaningful conversation! Thank you.
😂Sounds like a plan, but instead of charging 5 cents, we should do it for free.