For some, the Christian Bible is enough, or the Koran, or the Shreemad Bhagavad Gita. Include the Torah, the Talmud, and the Agamas. Perhaps all the guidance and wisdom in the world is to be found amid them and the other holy books.
But I suspect that the legendary philosophers of history might have a useful and additional word or two, men like Seneca, Socrates, and Spinoza. I would add several novelists, including British writers Julian Barnes and Virginia Wolff.
What is more, sometimes your mom or dad, or your third-grade teacher, offers enlightenment.
If truth is present in any of those possibilities, there also should be value in a few words not always or easily found among the sometimes contradictory messages that sacred books, among others, send our way.
Here are a few for you to accept or ignore.
Life is hard, but it offers a balm not found in a tube of calamine lotion at the pharmacy. It is discovering something or someone to love. The conventional wisdom suggests you must find a lover, but there are many others. A friend, a sibling, your parents, or a pet can offer affection and gratitude in receiving it.
More?
I have an old buddy who enjoys and even treasures his work and might win the Nobel Prize someday. I have cheered athletes who are in love with the game they play. I’ve also run into more than a few self-involved folks. On occasion, they are self-sufficient in the practice of their genius.
Think about writers, artists, sculptors, musicians, and composers. Add to the list, if you like, women and men who seek more than entertainment in the arts, entranced in discoveries of intensity, joy, and moments of ecstasy. If you’re lucky, you can find more than a single such passion.
The point is to be attached to, devoted to, involved in, and touched by what you love.
And, if you are thoughtful, you can return the endearment and the attention. You give back to the game, whether it’s a contest, a person, the adoration of Mozart, or the game of life.
Erin, of the Existential Ergonomics blog, wrote a wonderful post the other day that speaks to those who recognize that life and full reign over your existence are in opposition, much as we wish otherwise:
I am learning the difficult grace of release. I once believed I could map every turn of this story, determine when and how love would appear. But life, patient and persistent, keeps prying my fingers open.
Each time I loosen my hold—on plans, on control, on what I thought I needed—something softer finds its way in. I’m beginning to see that undoing isn’t failure; it’s invitation. It’s the space where breath returns, where grace has room to enter and rebuild.
My response to her statement was this:
Well said, wise, and beautifully expressed, Erin. We never have full control, but for seconds or days at a time, and even that is an illusion. These are the terms on a contract we never signed. Acceptance and managing the cracks that form in our painting is the art we must keep creating—to find love in the cracks.
I should have added more than shared adoration to what saves us, including whatever is useful and whatever can compensate for the blows of fate; if they can.
Perhaps the most heartbreaking feature of our lifelong but imperfect bargain is the loss of people. Then we learn to grieve and endure, cherishing their memory, and desiring a reunion in the afterlife. It is an outcome that is part inclination, belief, and hope, as well as a certainty in select minds and hearts.
A written guarantee? Hard to find on any day or on eBay, but hope often takes its place.
We live in a difficult time. Life moves faster and faster; lasting work is uncertain; residences double as offices where a screen and a phone substitute for a meeting place, a handshake, a kiss, and a hug. Meanwhile, skin hunger grows like ivy on the wall.
George Orwell, a visionary author, described our dilemma as he contemplated it more than 75 years ago:
All we have done is to advance to a point at which we could make a real change in human life, but we shall not do it without the recognition that common decency is necessary.
Surely decency is a step toward love. To love one’s neighbor and the stranger. To provide for the starving and homeless. To call the other by their name, with honor. To recognize our shared humanity.
And not to take arms, but to hold the other in our arms and let her know that she matters.
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The first image is Meanna. It is an album cover from Tales of Loneliness, sourced from Wikimedia Commons. Below it is An Elephant at Sunset in Amboseli, Kenya, 2024, by the superb photographer, Laura Hedien, presented with her kind permission: Laura Hedien Official Website.
I got a warm and fuzzy feeling from this essay. 🙂
Many thanks, Harry. I am glad the essay touched you. Be well.
Always a pleasure to read the words of a wise man.
This line, in particular, struck a chord::
“The point is to be attached to, devoted to, involved in, and touched by what you love.”
EM Forster’s “Only Connect” was more
succinct but this is more precise and accessible. A beautiful maxim!
Thanks for writing and sharing your reflections, Dr .Stein!
Very happy to hear from you, Ryan. I can remember us talking about Virginia Wolfe. I hope life has treated you well. Your students are lucky to have you.
So lovely, Dr. Stein. Thank you! ❤️
Thank you, Vicky. I hope the weather is bringing your favorite creatures into the backyard today. Enjoy it.
Oh my…how did you know? Yes! Such a nice afternoon! ☀️❤️☀️
Glad to hear it. From what your writing reveals, you are closer nature than most of us in the suburbs. Couldn’t happen to a nicer person, or one more deserving..
Guidance and wisdom can come from the most unlikely of sources, as you point out so well, Dr. Stein. Well taken is your wisdom that “The point [of life] is to be attached to, devoted to, involved in, and touched by what you love.” And then to give back. To recognize our shared humanity is so much needed in our world today.
Much needed, indeed, Rosaliene. I think there will always be those who promote the denigration of those who are different, but we see many others who recognize the world of multiple cultures and races offer the best chance of repairing the world. Fingers crossed.
Years ago I was told that if one scrapes off the outer icing from all religions, that we are left with directives to care for each other, and to live life in a way where kindness and compassion rule.
Making a mindful return to those quaint old values is definitely a good goal for this year, also starting a new hobby that allows for creativity for the spirit to soar is also a great idea.
Yes, Tamara. The spirit needs to soar and find some relief and joy despite everything. You are a fine guide to the importance of this. Thank you.
Wow – you’ve encapsulated so much wisdom about living, Dr. Stein. I especially love, “To love one’s neighbor and the stranger. To provide for the starving and homeless. To call the other by their name, with honor. To recognize our shared humanity.”
Yes! Thank you!
Thank you, Wynne. I think that in order to give due importance to joy, love, and gratitude, etc., one must look at the other side of things for full appreciation and dedication — dedication to those feeling and thoughts, and the limitations that life allows. Appreciation and responsibility of our shared humanity comes with the understand of all the rest, I think.
Wonderfully said, Dr. Stein. I’m reading the biography of Abigail Adams, and it’s just amazing how she, John Adams, her family, and friends would quote philosophy, poetry, Bible verses, and many other things in letters and regular conversations. It’s wonderful to fill our minds with different sources, hopefully good ones, that can help us become better humans.
I have no doubt that part of your current mission is to do just what you described, Edward; to become a better human. From where I stand, you are making yourself just so. Thank you.