Movies characterize therapy as an effort to unveil the repressed memories of a troubled life. The counselor is portrayed as a wise, empathic, trustworthy Sherlock Holmes, trying to uncover what has been buried, denied, or misunderstood.

In other words, as portrayed in films, a psychoanalyst’s goal is to know his patient better than the patient knows himself—what blocks his happiness—and guide him to a more rewarding life.

How much of the unknown should be known? Therapists would use a lie detector if knowledge, truthfulness, and fact were the aim. At the least, they would probe and dig until everything knowable became known.

Truth, however, is not what most patients want from a clinical psychologist. They want relief or an end to depression and anxiety, for example. Coming to know themselves better is often required, but not the revelation of every dark place in the heart.

The psychologist must determine what is helpful, not judge an inventory of his client’s moral choices and mistakes. Before long, if their work together leads to a newly hopeful story, both parties have done their job.

With luck, the patient is on his way to living a satisfying life.

The parable might include endurance, overcoming challenges, and triumph. The tale might involve mourning, the release of profound emotional pain, and the patient’s recognition of his value. 

Despite his ups and downs, mistakes, injuries, and harm done, the new slant on his life history would require acceptance of what is behind him. At that point, counselors hope the client understands that the game of life isn’t over and visualizes the possibility of unshackled accomplishment, blooming relationships, and joy ahead.

Not every knot must be untied. We are vulnerable creatures—brave, creative, and imperfect—and psychotherapy is unlikely to make us superheroes or saints.

We humans help, and we sometimes wound others. We are honest but lie on occasion. We shop for things we don’t need, use, or keep — and walk home without stopping for a homeless woman requesting money for her next meal.

We love our spouses but display unkindness and are tempted to cheat on them. We rationalize our unfaithfulness but teach our children to be noble and good.

Therapists are trained to accept you as you are, not to scold you. Sometimes, your imperfections, moral or otherwise, contribute to your problems, but they do not always.

The transfigured world has been more challenging in recent years, and some pursue treatment to find the capacity to manage their own lives when corporations, climate, and congressmen can’t be counted on.

The late sociologist Zygmunt Bauman spoke of that uncertainty:

“What is novel (today) is not uncertainty. What is novel is the realization that uncertainty is here to stay. The task is (therefore) to develop an art of living in uncertainty.”

The ancient Stoics advised us to focus on what we can control, but our newer world allows many of us less sway and influence than our elders had. It is, therefore, our responsibility to help change not only ourselves but the community of man in small but necessary steps, hand in hand with others. 

Successful counseling puts us on the doorstep of making more of our lives, even though repairing the world is not why people search for a therapist.

One of psychotherapy’s benefits is opening the unexpected treasure chest of the patient’s hidden strength. The gift can be used in many ways.

It can enable finding the place where the best of him can be put to constructive use—use beyond selfishness, use beyond the accumulation of wealth, and acquisition of unnecessary things.

There is more to life than the self and its desires—more that creates a sense of worth. If healing the Earth and all its forms of life and beauty is a responsibility, it is also a privilege. Though the therapist’s job is not to point you in that direction, it is nonetheless the truth.

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The first image is Mental Health by Tumisu. The second is The Truth Was Revealed by Egon Schiele (1913). The final photo is The Blue Marble, by Apollo 17, December 1972. The first was sourced from Wikimedia.org, while the second is from Wikiart.org. The image of the Earth comes from NASA.