It is not that I don’t want anything from you. I just don’t want your gifts—material things—stuff.

What do I want?

Your attention—the kind of gentle but intense focus that says, “I see you,” and sometimes brings a tear.

Your time. Since it is always short and because we both know it will run out.

A quiet restaurant. A place where we can savor food and conversation without shouting to be heard 

An idea. Something I haven’t considered before. A thought to make me think. Yours.

Your effort to repair the world. It won’t be achieved otherwise, you know.

A well-chosen birthday card—something to bring laughter or tears. A phone call, too.

Good health and long life for you.

Truth. 

Openness to the darkness of life—without depression.

Openness to the beauty of life—without toxic, automatic optimism.

Good jokes or stories. There are never enough, but always more. I’ve told you a few, you know.

Touch. A hand, a hug, and sometimes a kiss.

A note, handwritten, more meaningful than the keyboarded variety.

Going out of your way.

The courage to tell me when I have done harm.

A buddy who doesn’t count—one who remembers that his last words won’t be, “Gee, I wish I had that $10 back.”

Civility.

The stillness that makes audible the rustle of trees and the tide coming in.

Stars piercing the light pollution, emerging from a pure, blue-skyed day and a cloudless, pitch-dark evening.

Allowing me to know your interior—that which matters more than your achievements, status, or beauty.

Your awareness of the lie in every mirror. Each one displays the outside when what matters is the inside and what you do with it.

For you to survive and grow from the life tests you encountered after those in school.

To hear you ask yourself, “What value do I have?” and “What value does life have?” You alone can find the answer.

That you overcome the anxiety of life and know you have done something heroic.

Making people laugh and smile.

That you don’t say, “I would have done better,” when talking about an experience you never lived through.

The teamwork to save the Western bumble bees, honey bees, and Monarch butterflies. Do you want to join the effort?

That you find love.

Your humility in the face of your opinions and beliefs. You might be wrong, you know, and that is the way we learn.

That you should have many long friendships.

Widespread generosity to support charities. Even giving $1.00. Here is one I like: Feeding America/

Your attention and kindness to the children and all their tomorrows.

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The first photo is a 3-D Gift Image by Vijay Verma. The second shows Afghan Children waiting to receive basic medical care and clothing at Camp Clark, Khowst Province, Afghanistan, on Dec. 22, 2009. It was taken by Staff Sgt. Andrew Smith. Both were sourced from Wikimedia Commons.