Never having been there, I am short of first-hand knowledge of the afterlife. Nonetheless, my focus here is to treat this topic as a thought experiment, including what I and others have imagined about life in the hereafter.
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When I was a kid, an athlete who hit a home run or scored a touchdown didn’t make an enormous deal of it. Today, a significant number point to the sky, presumably to heaven, to give thanks.
In some cases, this represents a “Gott mit uns” attitude, a tribal view some countries adopt in and out of war-time: “God on our side.”
Other jocks state they are expressing gratitude for the gift of health and talent they received from God. This assumes one’s definition of an omnipotent deity includes distributing individualized skills to humans.
A casual conversation about heaven often includes the hope that our parents are looking after us from beyond the grave.
Of course, the thought is lovely. But what implications follow if paradise consists of people concerned about what is going on back home?
One such question this raises is how interest in our sometimes problematic lives might interfere with their never-ending happiness once they have entered the great beyond? Witnessing a child’s continuing hardships, accidents, injuries, and disappointments is heartbreaking and challenging enough when you live here.
Who among us wishes for emotional suffering to be written in the playbook of life after death?
Instead, let’s assume “the dead don’t care,” a refrain in Thomas Lynch’s book Undertakings. Lynch is a published poet and a professional undertaker, so his vantage point is unique. If our parents and loved ones no longer care about us (assuming they reside in heaven), they must be different creatures than those we knew on Earth.
Consistent with Lynch, when the actress Farrah Fawcett died in 2009, Michael Jackson’s nearly simultaneous demise overshadowed her life’s conclusion. A few of my patients expressed sadness that the media didn’t attend more to her passing. As Thomas Lynch envisions it, however, Farrah wasn’t bothered.
Again, “not caring” appears outside our customary belief about the nature of the hereafter. The petty jealousies of life, the hunger, the (at least) occasional insomnia, the worry, and so forth do not fit most heavenly visions.
If indifference to what occurs on our planet is characteristic of the afterworld, I doubt we would recognize celestial inhabitants as similar to their earthly incarnations. Moreover, I imagine one would be so transformed in conveyance to heaven as to have difficulty recognizing oneself.
A change of that sort might point to a different explanation of how heavenly life would be untroubled among deceased Christian parents who hold on to the attachment to their kids past the death that usually precedes that of their child. Romans 8: 28 offers these words:
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.
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After Life is an intriguing Japanese movie from 1998. Recently, deceased countrymen assemble at a transit station to the “beyond.” Each is given several days to decide on their version of eternity. They would then live forever in whatever brief interval they choose from their just-ended time on Earth.
The wayfarers are assigned a counselor to assist them in choosing. To live “in the moment,” that is, a particular moment forever, necessitates relinquishing the ability to think back and remember the past, as well as gaze forward and anticipate the future.
Experiencing the most precious happening one can recall involves sensations and feelings attached only to a sliver of time. The dead then would no longer have access to thought, analysis, worry, reflection, or concentration on other things, including positive experiences and events.
Because of that limitation on their future, the people in the waystation struggle with giving up all other recollections and relationships in return for eternity within a single juncture in time with a singular focus.
From the outside, once past the choice point, eternal bliss sounds like a heaven worth wishing for, assuming one chose a joyous, exciting, or touching event from one’s life. It also raises an interesting question: What moment would one choose?
Another possible future after death might be to reside beside a righteous, all-knowing, all-mighty being so dazzling as to render all imperfections and doubts mute, allowing us to share in his glory and shining presence.
Yet most of us fear our ending, the act of dying, or both. Why?
Shakespeare’s Hamlet fears a terrifying afterlife. As you learned in school, his famous soliloquy begins, “To be or not to be …” Hamlet is considering whether to kill himself: “not to be.” The King of Denmark, his father, has been murdered, and his mother unwittingly married the murderer, his uncle.
At first, this young man imagines a post-worldly existence consisting of eternal, restful sleep. But what of the possible nightmares, the Prince of Denmark wonders?
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. …
Another film on life and the afterlife is Defending Your Life. Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep star as two forty-something deceased yuppies who meet in a beautiful metropolis after expiring, a place of ease for those who have just departed life. In a few days, they fall in love.
During their stay in Judgement City, as their temporary location is called, they are subjected to a three-person tribunal determining whether they will go to a higher level of existence, something like heaven.
Streep’s character was a heroic, generous, and loving woman in her lifetime. A better future seems certain for her. For the Brooks persona, however, things aren’t looking up. He never overcame his many fears and always played it safe. As a result, he risks being returned to his home planet, never again embracing the woman he loves. The future remains in doubt.
No spoilers. The story is a funny, entertaining, and wise take on the need to grow in wisdom and courage throughout our lives: to be brave in facing whatever comes.
Next stop, Judgement City? Not too soon, I hope.
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The top image is Stratoculuili from German Wikipedia, September 2004 by de: Benutzer. Living Shadow.
It is followed by four glorious 2022 photographs by Laura Hedien with her kind permission: Laura Hedien Official Website. The first two are pictures of the Sunset in the Italian Dolomites. Next comes a Great Plains Summertime Sunset and, finally, an Italian Dolomites Sunrise.
So glad to see the shout out for “After Life” — I will forever be grateful for your suggestion (back in the day!) that I watch it. I still think about it today.
Thanks, Steven. Glad you are still with me! Yes, that film is a gem, raising big questions in an entertaining way. Be well!
I can’t imagine anything but total nothingness after death, similar to before conception and birth. I pray to a God I don’t believe in that it’s so…like being under anesthesia with no thoughts, no feelings, no sense of time passing, just an absolute end to everything that was life. The thought of an eternal, ever-lasting afterlife is terryfying no matter how idyllic it might be.
Thank you for your forthright response, Brewdun. It is most appreciated. Your approach is not too far off from Hamlet’s.
You might want to read “The Last Werewolf” by Glen Duncan, which looks at the life before him in a way similar to your own. It is something like Janacek’s opera,”The Makropulos Case,” dealing with the tedium of an immortal life.
I hope whatever is ahead has moments that bring you gladness. Take care, Brewdun.
“Defending Your Life”…thank you for bringing it forward! It was my all-time favorite ‘film-as-teaching-tool’ for my weekend humanistic psychology immersion courses. I think I can still recite scenes by heart and although I looked for other films to provide the same prelude to a writing project, nothing ever worked as well to prompt students toward reflection and introspection. Humor with a side-order of a meaningful message. Thank you for all of that and for more beautiful images from Laura Hedien. 😊
I share your praise for “Defending Your Life,” Vicki. I haven’t found many people who know about it, but I’m glad you do. Your class must have been a smashing success. Thank you, too, for your praise of Laura’s wonderful photography. She has quite a gift!
Another reason why I appreciate you. Our quirky love of movies with oh-so-teachable moments nestled within. And Laura’s photography alongside your post?
So, so, good. 🥰
While I am not a believer in an afterlife Dr. Stein I will say that if (in whatever form I may be post death) it included looking out on views like those in the photos I would not care in the least about the living or the dead- and if I could still feel emotion I would say I was experiencing peace and joy and awe to be granted those views.
I am delighted you take pleasure in Laura’s great work. Breathtaking, indeed. Thanks, Deb.
Dear Dr Stein,
My father died few weeks ago, aged 95, eventually taken by hand by mamma Vittorina he was co constantly, desperatingly calling during months, years.
I’m sure they are now together somewhere in the spheres, watching from there upon not only me but upon all souls needing love, consolation.
Cannot explain this deep feeling of mine.
Just knows it’s here.
I am glad you have this consolation, Micaela. Life is full of mysteries and questions none of us can answer and aren’t required to. You have my condolences. Be well.
Since what happens after life remains a mystery, I find this an unsettling topic. That I am approaching much closer to that day makes it even more so. I haven’t seen the Japanese movie “After Life.” Any one memorable moment would have to be one spent with my sons in Brazil.
I believe that our soul or spirit lives on after our physical body dies. Since that spiritual being would not be limited by material constraints, it becomes one with all other spiritual beings of similar energy vibrations. Becoming, at last, an integral part of the vast universal Cosmic Consciousness.
Sounds crazy? The alternative of being born again (reincarnated) into a future existence on a planet, currently facing global societal collapse, would be Hell on Earth.
The notion of becoming an integral part of the universe has an appeal that Spinoza and the Buddhists found compelling, so you are in good company. It is a comforting thought, though, as you say, aging is another story! Thank you!
My views have changed on what the after-life entails after I left organized religion and participated in Native American ceremonies, and had also been approached by 4 psychics all telling me they felt they needed to give me a message, which were identical almost to the word. I do believe in an afterlife where we exist in spirit form, but how it looks and what happens to us remains to be seen! Those 4 psychics basically opened the door to my understanding what my life mission is, so I will do my best to fulfill and live by it.
None of us is perfect, but all we can do is do our best in this life. What happens beyond that we shall see.
Yes, the future is to be seen, Tamara. You take your time on the planet to make yourself into a good and helpful soul. None of us can do better than that.
Such an interesting thought exercise, Dr. Stein. My mom has made the comment that she doesn’t think (she hopes) that heaven doesn’t involve being aware or worrying about things happen to those that are still alive because that wouldn’t be peaceful or restful at all. But whose to say that the time line is the same?
I love you tying this into plays and movies that portray a vision. It reminds me of the movie from my childhood, “Oh God” where George Burns plays God. I haven’t seen either of the movies you mention but you have me intrigued.
Fascinating post on a subject that you have teed up perfectly. Such great food for thought!
Thank you for mentioning “Oh God,” which I’ve never seen. Your mom and I are on the same wave length, interestingly enough. I never considered the “time line” question, but thank you for that, Wynne, and I’m glad you enjoyed the piece.