Even without news that comes faster than a speeding bullet, most lives are demanding. Where do those demands come from? Three overlapping places at least.
- Becoming a success. That is, achieving stature, achievement, and financial security or wealth.
- Fitting into the social world. This includes learning to relate to others, having friends, comfort in groups, and finding love.
- Trying to meet the expectations of others, including bosses, mates, friends, relatives, children, and clients.
But I have a surprise for you. Being unremarkable isn’t a sin. You don’t have to be a success to find joy. One needn’t pack the weekend full of excitement to impress others. Nor do you need to follow the crowd and meet their every demand.
One more thing. If you are thoughtful and don’t run from understanding why you are anxious or sad, you can grow beyond those who see the days as some sort of competition.
I came across the following note about existence on Substack. It is by David Keeler and was posted on March 25, 2025.
You have permission to be ordinary.To live a quiet life.To go for a walk without turning it into content.To do good work without chasing viral.To be present with your people instead of always “building something.”Your life doesn’t have to be optimized to be meaningful.The Ordinary creates space for what truly matters.
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The top image is a 1950 untitled painting by Franz Kline.
Thank you for this priceless reminder, Gerald. I was fortunate to learn, before it was too late, that “ordinary” isn’t so ordinary after all.
Indeed. You, for sure, have made the most of that simple word. Thanks, Frank.
So true, Dr. Stein!
Your life, from an early time, made the most of what matters and still does. Thank you, Rosaliene.
Excellent, Dr. Stein. We need to hear this message often, and I wish high schools and colleges would hold discussions on this subject. There are so many demands and pressures on us. I like that note from David Keeler, and now that I’m retired, I’m trying to make it my personal goal to be ordinary and live a quiet life.
I am glad it hit the mark for you, Edward. Thank you. I recall a Bulgarian patient of mine who said, “You in the United States live to work. We Bulgarians work to live.” Escaping the grip of our drivenness is no small achievement. All my best wishes to you in doing this.
It’s actually harder than I thought. There’s always something trying to pull me into the “noisy” side. Your Bulgarian patient is right about that.
I wish it were otherwise for all of us!