Sometimes advice comes from looking closely. We talk about being readers of speed or slowness, as if a shoulder pressed hard on the grindstone.
A smaller number read and reread, while some avoid books altogether.
But the wise man who penned the capitalized letters above looks more closely. Perhaps he suggests another way to find your way — to think about a life of hesitation, or spontaneity.
To ensure the time is honored and absorbed in full, with little wasted.
Whether we can absorb everything at one go is questionable. Yet it might be worth the effort. Some call it living in the moment, but this is different.
We must think, think about, think through, think enough, and think with clarity about what we are doing, as Hannah Arendt pleaded in her book, The Human Condition.
Making sensible choices isn’t easy.
Let us start with these few ideas.
Should I live with abandon or instead, with care and well-thought-out intention and planning?
Must we take the blame and apologize out of insecurity or out of our need for approval?
How do you determine what is worth giving your life for, and what is worth standing up for despite the risk of defending a principle?
What responsibilities does the status of citizen confer on us?
Are you now, or have you ever been put to the test by telling the truth, lying, or taking arms? How about fighting against a deadly illness, saving the life of another, or donating an internal organ?
Have you come out as a person of unconventional and despised sexual nature, or decided to take on the danger of being unpopular because of political or religious beliefs?
Do you recognize that the loss of your soul, honesty, or morality doesn’t always happen in your response to one significant event, but in small steps that erode your character over time?
If you have a bucket list, consider how long you have postponed fulfilling your desires.
When you reach middle or old age, do you realize that many of the early entries on your list have lost their interest?
Such promissory notes to yourself can be like the suit, dress, pants, or shorts you hope to wear again, only to discover they no longer fit. An old saying applies: You have missed the boat.
Small children tend not to recognize that death lies ahead. As you become somewhat older, the thought occurs to you. When you are older still, would it be wise to remind yourself of your mortality?
Would it be necessary to raise this idea at least once a year?
In middle age and beyond, such a practice becomes less necessary. Your life and the deaths of others announce the issue without your help.
Do you believe you are self-aware? We all miss things. How might you go about learning them? What might be the cost to others and to you?
What is the value of rushing around? What is the value of taking your time?
Have you failed to speak to old friends in years? What is holding you back? What is the value of such people?
Why is it worthwhile to help strangers, including those who are different from you? Do you offer your helping hand face-to-face?
Many external influences have changed you. These include reading news on your phone, using the AI Chatbot, which some describe as a friend, and text messaging.
Are these worthwhile utilities? What do you gain and what do you lose? Do you believe you are saving time as opposed to losing competence to learn and solve problems on your own?
Are you lonely or lonelier than you used to be? Eating alone in the USA has increased by 53% since 2003. The number is much higher among the young.
Do devices like Zoom, frequent job changes, working from home, and a loss of understanding of how to make and keep friends contribute to this problem?
If this is your issue, how do you fill your time when there’s no human contact? Pets, perhaps?
One additional thought about the ticking clock of life. When we are free of essential demands, what do we do?
Meditation can sweep clean awareness of the Earth’s movement around the Sun. What else do we focus on? Exercise, food, the desire to consume, worry, our career, money, relationships, avoidance, and more.
Plato thought of other matters: the contemplation of beauty in moments of quiet.
He focused on the eternal, not immortality, but big and lofty questions regarding the soul, things, and ideas, including nature, beyond temporary joys, lusts, and sorrows.
What do you think?
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The writing at the top of the page is sourced from Edward Zaydelman on Substack.
Caro dottor Stein,
Can hardly find words…feel so shuttered…and I even didn’t read your entire post, but, but…I saw the word “death”, I’m sure you wrote it…
This week I met Death twice.
God’s hand arrested it.
Still feel the taste of it in my mouth, my body…
An horrible taste.
This same horrible, even if apparently joyful, image of Death conducting a group of poor comedians in a dance on a hill, from Ingmar Bergman’s movie “The Seventh Seal.”
But my hour hadn’t arrived yet, and God’s hand benignly arrested Death.
God maybe wants me to play more music (and I truly have lots of concerts; on the other hand, the period around Christmas IS for musicians the busiest, richest one): the world desperately needs Beauty, remember, the dostoïevskyan saying “beauty which will save the world”.
Born with this talent, all my life, often desperately, bowing to honor it.
So death will have to wait.
Music is truly one of the arts that inspires, brings joy, offers a balm and even saves people from despair.
Who knows how many lives will be saved by listening to your performance?
I’ve learned that setting intentions before starting something brings more to the person doing it and to the observers and other participants.
When we are spared from death, there’s always a purpose!
May your holiday seasons be joyful and bountiful!
I am sorry my post was disturbing, Micaela, but glad you are well. Yes, I know the references to Bergman and Dostoevsky. Surely you are right that God and the world are not finished with you. More of your gifted beauty is to come. We are all lucky for that.
all about connection – with others, with nature, with our inner selves
Well said, Beth. Many connections, always to be made and remade. They sustain us. Thank you.
Thinking about these ideas seems like a very worthwhile way to spend our time. I’ve noticed when I’m busy, that not thinking costs me the most amount of time because I end up making needless mistakes. In the big picture questions you provide here, it seems the same applies. I might not always make sensible choices – but I have a better chance of doing so after considering the bigger perspective that you wisely present here. Thank you, Dr. Stein!
Indeed, we make mistakes and sometimes make them again! One of the best pieces of advice I received and have mentioned before, is to make “new” mistakes.” You have accomplished much, Wynne. I am sure your thought and thoughtfulness have played no small part. Thank you.
“When we are free of essential demands, what do we do?” When do you see this happening? When one is, perhaps, in a nursing home? Seriously, though, even when our children leave the demands still seem to call–whether it is to oneself, to others, or to our community.
Evelyn, I feel I’m in that phase of my life, child grown and her kids almost all grown too. We are planning our time together in the next phase of her life. She’s going back to school next semester to prepare. We still need to go to our jobs of course, but our free time will have more focus on us. 😉
I agree, Evelyn. Your comment provokes the answer. Doubtless, there are more demands than ever, but the response, at least in my way of thinking, is to make choices. What is personally fulfilling and what we must do for the world and our loved ones becomes what is best thought through. Thank you.
Dr. Stein, I love this post! This line stood out to me more: “Should I live with abandon or instead, with care and well-thought-out intention and planning?”
I propose a 3rd way… to plan carefully, taking into consideration all of who we are, our passions and abilities, then create a life where we can live with abandon within those parameters.
To me, living with abandon doesn’t mean abandoning all guidelines, in fact, my life seems to do better when I have those parameters.
For example, I have my full-time job where I earn the money to pay my bills, but in my spare time I indulge in my creative side. My studio is filled with tools and materials to paint with acrylics or watercolors, to create pottery, to do wire wrapping and beading. I’m looking at how I can open my studio to welcome people to create and to learn. It’s not a huge space, bit it allows me to invite a few people.
My life has been molded and crafted into what brings me joy and keeps me healthy, and that in turn allows me to reach out to others, for I bring my joy and intentionality into the world.
You offer a proper model of finding the place between living with abandon and the role of intention and planning. Brava, Tamara! No wonder your followers applaud your guidance. Thank you.
A very thought-provoking post, Dr. Stein, in which you raise several important questions of self-determination. As a result of an insecure and violent upbringing, I’ve found stability in living “with care and well-thought-out intention and planning.” Not surprisingly, our lives don’t always go according to our plans. Standing up for my values and principles has come at the price of broken relationships. A changing political environment led to other deviations from the life I envisaged for myself and loved ones and continue to do so in the present. Yet, as I’m reminded, it’s what we do in our moments of quiet that determine how well we adapt to the vagaries of our lives.
Beautifully stated, Rosaliene. Though I had a more fortunate upbringing, I doubt that there are many of us who predicted the storm, even though we knew it was possible. You have been a thoughtful and devote servant of the good in the world and stillness does its part, I am sure.
I love the wisdom of Plato and the pursuit of quiet contemplation. Hard won, some days, but worth the effort. As always, I appreciate your words, Dr. Stein. Your Sunday posts always feel like weekly reminders to think more and increasingly…prioritize the importance of being mindful of my time and energy every single day. Many thanks!❤️❤️❤️
Thank you, Vicki. It seems to me that you do a fine job of prioritizing. You do much to create and to add to the world by your presence. We need you here.
Again…what a lovely thing to say. Feeling the same about you! Thank you, my friend! ❤️
There is so much goodness in your post that I don’t even know where to start, but let me give it a shot.
I’m the “read and reread” type when it comes to physical books because I don’t like ebooks. Here’s something I read last night about the importance of a well-informed electorate in an age of massive digital connectivity that encourages campaigns to become hyperfocused on the immediate.
In his book The Hardest Job in the World, John Dickerson wrote the following about Thomas Jefferson’s and James Madison’s views on the “hyperfocused on the immediate”: “The two were talking about more than just familiarity with candidates’ position papers. To be vigilant citizens, Jefferson argued, voters had to study history in order to understand the corrupting influence of human weakness—like excessive ambition.”
Later on, Dickerson mentioned something published in the 1908 election voter’s guide: “It is a privilege that every man should avail himself of, as well as a duty he owes to his country, to study all the platforms and all the issues; otherwise, he cannot be informed and do his duty as a patriot at the polls.”
All this knowledge is necessary to elect the right president, governor, congressperson, or any other leader.
Then this morning I reread the following from Epictetus: “When you get an external impression of some pleasure, guard yourself against being carried away by it… Next, think of the two periods of time: first, that in which you will enjoy your pleasures, and second, after the enjoyment is over, when you will later repent and revile your own self; and set over against these two periods of time how much joy and self-satisfaction you will get if you refrain. However, if you feel that a suitable occasion has arisen to do the deed, be careful not to allow its enticement… but set over against all this the thought of how much better is the consciousness of having won a victory over it.”
I spent over two decades in uniform defending our country; now I spend my time enjoying family, nature, reading, and thinking. But of course, I’m not afraid to fight the good fight when the time comes. In the meantime, I will continue to educate myself on the issues and be a patriot at the polls.
Sorry if I went on too long, Dr. Stein, but your posts always make me think.
Thank you, Edward, and sorry not to get to this sooner. Jefferson and Madison were wise men, and, of course, read widely and had the benefit of working with those who also had classical educations and knew names like Epictetus.
You might want to read this, a terrific article that takes a look at the likenesses and implications of the the 1920s and the 2020s. We know what those decades created and preceded: file:///Users/geraldstein/Downloads/MilwaukeeJournalSentinel_20250330_FBusiness.pdf
You’re welcome, Dr. Stein. I’ll definitely take a look at that article. I’m sure tariffs are mentioned.