We are constantly measured against others: compared, sized up, and weighed like bananas at a fruit stand.

As a boy, teachers in my public school assigned seats according to each youngster’s academic excellence. Even without that and the particular misfortune of those in the last row, my classmates made plenty of comparisons.

Who was the smartest, the cutest, the most popular, the strongest, the tallest, the most likely to succeed? A bit later, the markers applied to the best smile, the toughest guy, the best legs, and the fastest runner. Further on, the standard became owning a car, a lovely apartment, admission to the finest college, and on and on and on.

Indeed, every day, we read our mirror’s prediction of what people will say about our appearance. Who doesn’t?

Our ancestors chose mates by making some of these comparisons. They selected strong and brave protectors, canny partners, and mates whose health and capacity for survival could be judged by externals. These included shape, musculature, and facial features, no matter how much these qualities were thought through.

Status among our siblings, neighbors, and coworkers eventually came down to a handful of attributes. Money remains our shorthand for success and the ability to live the life we want for ourselves and our children.

There will always be someone with more. The fast track to unhappiness is to watch and listen for signs of our fluctuating status. Shooting for the ladder’s top rung is the path to making yourself #1 in misery, like a person running a race on a treadmill. One or several others are always ahead of you. 

The commercials declare you should “be all you can be.” 

Money is not the only measure. In most situations, you get to decide. If you have a fine friend, he, by himself, is precious. So is a clear sky on a gorgeous day and the birdsong greeting the morning. In a meaningful sense, we are rich as long as we don’t further pollute the atmosphere and harm the songbirds’ habitat.

There is gratitude and wisdom in this.

The cliche tells us we come into the world with nothing and leave with nothing unless we insist on filling our grave with every penny we possess. Grave robbers will find it anyway.

The YouTube video above (“When is a Retiree Considered Wealthy?”) provides a 2023 description of how your accumulated wealth compares to all those who retire in the USA. 

Consider this a way to determine your standing on the financial ladder I mentioned. Curiosity says you will take a look—your choice. 

I don’t discount the value and necessity of dollars. However, as the YouTube video indicates, there is an enormous discrepancy between the folks with fistfuls of paper currency and almost everyone else. I’d be happy to pay higher taxes if it would be distributed to the neediest individuals.

That said, I’ve reached a point of caring about finances less than ever. Lucky as I am relative to most, I have seen too many who make themselves unhappy via endless contrasts. 

Occasionally, I try to notice whether they are carrying yardsticks and forever measuring, as I think they are. This group includes “some of my best friends,” as the old joke goes.

There is no built-in shame in accepting less than the best of every material thing or thinking King Midas, the man with the golden touch, was an idiot. That is unless you bow down to the fellow with the fattest wallet.

My attitude about money is simple. I give some away to charities and family, pay my bills, and have lived in the same home for 39 years. Having more money and spending more of it won’t make me happier.

Having worked at a summer job in an un-air-conditioned factory long ago, I understand something about one of the less attractive alternatives to the way I made a living, not to mention the men who had to stay after I was gone.

On my deathbed, I am confident no one will hear me say, “Gee, I wish I had that $25 back.”

But if things work out as I hope, I will speak of love.