We live in a world where everybody wants to be somebody. What is the real value of such distinction, success, or wealth?

Among Merriam-Webster’s definitions of distinction, one finds what all the future somebodies are shooting for:

• the quality or state of being excellent or superior
• special honor or recognition
• an accomplishment that sets one apart
• a degree or measure of succeeding 
• the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence

Becoming distinguishable from others wasn’t always difficult. It amounted to knowledge of your name.

Had you lived among a small group of people, as mankind did for almost all of human history, you’d have been identifiable. 

For example, one might have been the tribe’s medicine man, a reader once written language arrived, or a caring neighbor. Perhaps a church elder and the tallest person around. Maybe even a garment maker, the village strongman, or the expert midwife.

You encountered little competition. Everyone heard whether you were courting, married, where you resided, the names of siblings and kids, and nearly all spoke your name when they extended a greeting.

It might not have been paradise, but you weren’t anonymous. Your position was relatively secure, enjoying a unique spot or place within the modest group you lived with or the town you inhabited.

By contrast, in the so-called First World of the 21st century, accountants, psychologists, surgeons, and lawyers are as plentiful as apples and the trees from which they fall. Unlike the apples, however, no one automatically has knowledge of your origin or the type of apple you might be.

These days, without the desire to be a big fish in a small pond, you have to make a splash in the ocean instead of becoming a fish out of water that some say is all wet.

Competition now requires marketing oneself. Not everyone wishes to turn into a brand, however. Many prefer recognition as a person, as imperfect as they are.

Is this unacceptable? Might the current definition of somebody be part of the problem?

To my mind, Frank J. Peter has the answer:

The best way to be somebody is to matter to somebody else.

You get to choose whether this works for you, though others might disagree. Do you wish to be a hostage to their opinions and live at their direction? This sounds rather like remaining in the eight-year-old role you occupied when your parents set the rules.

Here are possible ways to be somebody that don’t involve widespread acclaim or the things money can buy:

• Create or preserve beauty. The planet can use another Shakespeare and an endless number of gardeners.
• Be a mentor.
• Raise and guide a child.
• Make friends and express gratitude for your intimacy with those you are close to.
• Love someone.
• Display kindness to all those who enter your life.
• Be a citizen who furthers the survival of the democratic republic of the USA.
• Heal others with touch and concern.
• Hug and hold hands.
• Stand up for what is right, for the innocent, and for children.
• Teach.
• Take care of yourself so you can do the above and reduce the worry of those who care for and about you.
• Give money to worthy causes and those who are needy.
• Be a helpful neighbor.
• Do your part, however small, to save the planet.

None of these guarantee fortune of the dollars and cents kind. Nor is fame likely.

Such rewards aren’t necessary. Look at people and offer what all of them need and some appreciate. Seeing them as they wish to be seen is a gift many have never received.

The pursuit of awards and riches has had some detractors. One was Epictetus, a lame Roman slave in the first century A.D., known as a Stoic philosopher:

“Wealth does not consist in having great possessions…but in having few wants.”

To do enough to matter to someone else is a form of wealth worth the effort.

==========

The painting at the bottom is Mark Rothko’s #14, 1960, a part of the collection at San Franciso’s Museum of Modern Art.