Month: January 2026

January 24, 2026

Cheating and the Yearning for Trust

Many of us write about how to find fulfillment. Add our plentiful commentary on acceptance, gratitude, achievement, loss, depression, defeat, and victory.

Somehow, at least one thing is left out.

Cheating.

In childhood, it was unimaginable to me. Yes,  kids cheated on tests, threw snowballs at moving buses, and found miscellaneous ways to raise hell.

Yet the adults I encountered all appeared decent enough, unlike the fraudulent and dangerous types in news reports. TV was the box where bad guys lived and did their worst, not in my neighborhood.

My dad had a small business, which offered a different story. Mercury Lighter Service was a side job he created, fixing cigarette lighters.

Milton Stein and my mother, Jeanette, learned to repair most of those that were broken.

My parents performed their magic on our dining room table after dinner, after my father came home from his supervisory position at the post office and his second job, keeping the books for my Uncle Sam’s business.

His enterprise was not without its share of upset.

Like deadbeats.

He muttered the word, sometimes changing it to “another deadbeat.“

I asked him what he was talking about. “Adults don’t always pay their bills,” he replied. There were many reasons, including the desire to cheat you.

Such men—it was always men—seemed outliers to me, not regular, honest folk. Perhaps I wanted to envision the world as a benign place. Later, I discovered that the people of the planet were more complicated.

Here, however, is something close to the truth. It is part of a footnote to the Enchiridion, itself a discourse recorded by Arrian, from the teaching he received as a student of the philosopher Epictetus:

Those who have the ability sufficient to raise themselves from a low estate, and at the same time do it to the damage of society, are perhaps only few, but certainly there are such persons.

They rise by ability, by the use of fraud, by bad means almost innumerable. They gain wealth, they fill high places, they disturb society, they are plagues and pests, and the world looks on sometimes with stupid admiration until death removes the dazzling and deceitful image, and honest men breathe freely again.

Stupid admiration. An interesting phrase. The crooks would be easier to recognize if each took the same name and a differentiating number—something like Stupid Admiration #1, #32, #47, etc.

The swindlers can be hard to identify and receive high praise from sycophants and those who want to ride the master’s coattails to wealth.

Does it appear to you that criminals have mushroomed? How do some of them do so well at profiting from their corruption?

Consider the word “con men,” short for confidence men, meaning they gain your confidence so they can take what you have.

The rascals flatter you, recognize that you want to be seen, approved of, and admired. Swinders offer a vision of the future in which your life will be better. They will help to make it, too.

One thinks he is lucky to have found such a person, a kind of father figure and wizard put together. I was taken in by such a one once, years ago.

It happens, but why?

Almost everyone, deep down, wants to be cared for. No wonder that wounded men on the battlefield cry out for their mothers, as they have since the beginning of time.

They search for a place in a trusted group, people who resemble them, think as they do, and brace them against the possibility of others, either different or suspicious.

Laughter, love, kindness, and locked arms fulfill an ageless wish. Togetherness means more when it promises the security of survival. The saying goes, “I will be there for you.“

The fraudster plays on all this and more.

Today, many people ask what they should do to thwart dishonesty and bad faith. Many are afraid, confused, depressed, or all of these.

They hope for a leader, a savior, a person to lean on; someone who can win the day, take the group’s prize to the car wash, soap away the darkness, and bring the light.

If you could sell guaranteed trust and a supportive community on a street corner, you would make a fortune.

The world will always need saving. It always has.

That said, most of us have faith in the basic decency of humankind. My dad didn’t give up his small business or hide from others because of a few underhanded debtors.

Milton Stein went to WWII in a uniform he believed in. To him, it represented the rightness of the fight. He returned still faithful to my mother, and she to him.

Remember, it is always darkest before the dawn.

And then there is love.

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The top image is a Poster for the American Drama film The Cheat (1923).

The second item is an Advertisement for the American Comedy-Romance film The Confidence Man (1924), starring Thomas Meighan, from the March 29, 1924, cover of the Exhibitors Trade Review. Both are sourced from Wikimedia Commons.

January 18, 2026

Why We Write

“We write to taste life twice, in the moment, and in retrospection.”

So said Anais Nin, a woman whose journaling began at age 11 and continued throughout her long life. She described her relationship with the psychoanalyst Otto Rank soon after their contact:

As he talked, I thought of my difficulties with writing, my struggles to articulate feelings not easily expressed. Of my struggles to find a language for intuition, feeling, instincts which are, in themselves, elusive, subtle, and wordless.

How hard is it to understand others — to see them in full as they wish to be seen? To what degree can every word, thought, and expression be fathomed as it emerges, and when it does not?

Consider the quotation above. How much of a flavor is retained? To what extent does the act of remembering itself transform what has happened, even as it fades and alters with age?

The celephane-wrapped freshness of our past recedes in favor of a modified reminiscence.

Nin recognized something else. She was a student of psychoanalysis and realized that she required more than one language to convey what best fit her desire to communicate.

As Wikipedia notes, “she (first) wrote in French and did not begin to write in English until she was 17.[11] Nin believed that French was the language of her heart, Spanish was the (tongue) of her ancestors, and English…the (dialect) of her intellect. The writing in her diaries is (therefore)…trilingual.”

Our reflections change as we contemplate our former selves, our loves and losses, our encounters with books, work, failure, and success in a changing world. The growth and metamorphosis brought by aging offer new perspectives.

Heraclitus reminds us, “no man steps into the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man.”

Time is a master teacher if we listen to its voice.

To the good, laughter survives in the form of stories, along with some of our private sentiment.

Enough.

In a week, will you recognize yours truly at my unchanging keyboard? Will you think of me as you do now? And what will your mirror hold?

Ask Anais Nin and Heraclitus.

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All of the images are sourced from Wikimedia Commons. Woman Writing with a Pen is the work of Kristin Hardwick. It is followed by Anais Nin as a Teenager about 1920. Finally, Nin’s Signature.

January 11, 2026

Unconfusing Our Confusion

I am confused some of the time. If I hear an idea that belongs to someone else, I am slow to say whether I agree or disagree. At least more hesitant than I used to be.

Why? I consider the thought or opinion from multiple angles. Perhaps from the point of religion, or my lived experience, or all the other thoughtful people I know. I ask the other to tell me how he arrived at his point of view. Have other intelligent public intellectuals taken the same position?

Where is the evidence?

When I offer my slant on a problem, if it is well organized and reasonable, my counterpart might react with, “That makes sense.”

Such acknowledgements are affirming. Still, I prefer it if my interlocutor asked a question rather than accepting my position without taking a moment to think through the concept or dig deeper. Challenges are desirable because they help me learn.

Information rains down on us at a level unknown to everyone who lived here before us. Even during the first years of television, most of us had access to three major stations; the networks signed off at midnight and returned to broadcasting the next morning.

Today, depending on the source, the news may be mere idiocy or deceit. We can be fooled without extraordinary effort. Moreover, many people find the ideas, reports, and news painful to listen to. They turn away because the full blast fire hose of disaster, unhappiness, and unfairness is too much to bear. The deluge feels like punishment, a form of battery and inundation.

It is easier to reach a quick conclusion about what is right and what is wrong than to gather information and inform ourselves. Instead, we choose to believe we have learned enough. Since we cannot tolerate more, we decide our knowledge is adequate.

In my way of living, I tend to take in more reportage and analysis than most, including different frames of reference.

Nor am I easily driven by emotions such as anger and hate. I have found that by gathering information, reading, and listening to multiple sources, I can reach a sober conclusion.

So I think.

Of course, I am not God, the Pope, or the Dalai Lama.

Yes, I have many concerns about the future of the world and the lives of my loved ones on this planet.

But.

Somehow, I sleep at night, believing I understand what I think is happening.

I have long been asking myself questions. Soon after I reached the age of double digits, I watched newsreel films about World War II on TV or in school. There he was, Chancellor of the Third Reich, wearing a toothbrush mustache—also called the Führer und Reichskanzler—ranting.

The typical response was “It can’t happen here!” Yet I found myself unsettled. What if the dark presence spoke English?

I’d reached 11 or so. Over time, I came to understand that under pressure, much of humanity is not at its best.

Part of our dilemma comes from our appreciation, enjoyment, and vulnerability to stories. Our ancient predecessors needed to be persuaded by a leader who hoped to protect their group of 20 or 30 from dangers, whether from natural disasters or enemies. Similarly, access to healthful food and avoidance of sickening or poisonous substances were essential.

Somebody would tell a story, and if the group survived, the information would spread.

We have long encountered secular, religious, and political tales, sometimes forthright, sometimes not. Their self-interested spin and opportunistic motives might influence others through storytelling.

Each country has its own history and mythology. Widely accepted origins, part legends, bind millions of people who will never meet into a community of trust, shared ideals, and cooperation.

The American history I learned in the middle of the last century made little mention of discrimination against religious minorities among early American settlers. Those books didn’t touch on how white male property owners alone possessed voting rights, or a woman’s lack of standing on numerous issues.

Neither were the brutality, unfairness, and intolerance experienced by the Native Americans, Chinese immigrants, and Japanese citizens of the West Coast a part of the story presented.

Ours was the land of the free and the home of the brave. Not of the Ku Klux Klan and the lynchings of black men.

The confusion of so many of us is exacerbated by algorithms designed to stir us up and drive us to return to the sources we visit.

We are no longer the children of devoted parents who make up stories at bedtime, as I did for my kids—a new one every night to amuse my daughters.

Now, as adults, we are left to ferret out which accounts are accurate and which play us for fools. Beware those who make us think that the other, who lives in another part of the nation, has darker skin, speaks with an accent or a twang, is our enemy.

How shall we reduce our confusion and not be overwhelmed? Take a break from the avalanche of supposed information every so often. Find joy in friendship and love. Eat well and exercise.

Talk about the turmoil, too, and find a connection so that you are not alone.

Learn new non-political things, new games that will keep your brain in shape, and remember what you can be grateful for. Then get back to a part of the news cycle you can manage, be careful of your chosen sources, and do your part to repair the world.

Yes, we are all confused, at least a bit, but there is goodness to be found in our land if we seek it and work to sustain it.

It is the work for all time and for our time.

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All the images above are sourced from Wikimedia Commons. At the top is a Confused Man by Notas de prense. Next comes Confused Young Woman by CollegeDegree360 on Flickr. Finally, Confused User Icon Red by OERDESIGN.

January 4, 2026

About (Your) Face

What does a face do? What unspoken message does it convey?

Man lives in a world of endless mirrors, so plentiful that he cannot escape himself.

Men and women do their best to make themselves presentable and attractive. Some study their default expression and attempt to alter it. The goal is to enhance beauty, masculinity, sincerity, intelligence, approachability, toughness, or fearlessness, among other characteristics.

Are they readable? Perhaps. Can one discover inner qualities based on peering into the face facing him? Sometimes.

Early in life, humanity displays the features it inherited. Later, the adventurous or the unhappy try to transform their appearance.

Others are transformed by their character.

Men display beards or mustaches. Tweezers pull out unsightly hair for both sexes, and high foreheads find long strands traveling downward to cover the upper section by intent.

Moisturizers keep the face soft, while sunscreen helps protect it from the sun’s harmful rays, which can age the skin and cause cancer. Makeup and lipstick play their part.

Time changes body language, and unconscious modification defines the impression one makes before he speaks. Hardness, menace, kindness, indifference, severity, or gentleness might become apparent.

Eyes are sympathetic or piercing. The orbs hold a glance or turn down and away. Inner strength can be read as contempt. The masked face of one who does not wish to be thought of as vulnerable becomes unbecoming. Faces range from welcoming and confident to haughty or insecure.

Lincoln said, “Every man over forty is responsible for his face.”

George Orwell added, “At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves.”

The phrase about-face is both a military order to change direction while standing at attention and a reversal in point of view.

So much of life is about face. A public disgrace or humiliation is described as a loss of face.

All manner of facial expressions can become a person’s arsenal for social interaction. Think of a smirk or frown, interruptions, talking over others, and raised eyebrows.

Add a visage full of contempt, the expressionless deadness of preferring the phone to a lunch partner, boredom, frequent laughing at a so-called friend, and an intimidating presence or state that makes an individual appear twice his size and scary to small children.

Better to unveil the face of an angel if one can.

I am close to a few.

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The top photo by Paul Aigner is of the journalist Olenula for the newspaper “Lukhovitskie Vesti.”

The poster below it features Konrad Adenauer, who served as Chancellor of the Federal Republic of Germany from 1949 to 1963 and was the first leader of the Christian Democratic Union (CDU). Both are sourced from Wikimedia Commons.