advice

January 18, 2026

Why We Write

“We write to taste life twice, in the moment, and in retrospection.”

So said Anais Nin, a woman whose journaling began at age 11 and continued throughout her long life. She described her relationship with the psychoanalyst Otto Rank soon after their contact:

As he talked, I thought of my difficulties with writing, my struggles to articulate feelings not easily expressed. Of my struggles to find a language for intuition, feeling, instincts which are, in themselves, elusive, subtle, and wordless.

How hard is it to understand others — to see them in full as they wish to be seen? To what degree can every word, thought, and expression be fathomed as it emerges, and when it does not?

Consider the quotation above. How much of a flavor is retained? To what extent does the act of remembering itself transform what has happened, even as it fades and alters with age?

The celephane-wrapped freshness of our past recedes in favor of a modified reminiscence.

Nin recognized something else. She was a student of psychoanalysis and realized that she required more than one language to convey what best fit her desire to communicate.

As Wikipedia notes, “she (first) wrote in French and did not begin to write in English until she was 17.[11] Nin believed that French was the language of her heart, Spanish was the (tongue) of her ancestors, and English…the (dialect) of her intellect. The writing in her diaries is (therefore)…trilingual.”

Our reflections change as we contemplate our former selves, our loves and losses, our encounters with books, work, failure, and success in a changing world. The growth and metamorphosis brought by aging offer new perspectives.

Heraclitus reminds us, “no man steps into the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man.”

Time is a master teacher if we listen to its voice.

To the good, laughter survives in the form of stories, along with some of our private sentiment.

Enough.

In a week, will you recognize yours truly at my unchanging keyboard? Will you think of me as you do now? And what will your mirror hold?

Ask Anais Nin and Heraclitus.

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All of the images are sourced from Wikimedia Commons. Woman Writing with a Pen is the work of Kristin Hardwick. It is followed by Anais Nin as a Teenager about 1920. Finally, Nin’s Signature.

January 11, 2026

Unconfusing Our Confusion

I am confused some of the time. If I hear an idea that belongs to someone else, I am slow to say whether I agree or disagree. At least more hesitant than I used to be.

Why? I consider the thought or opinion from multiple angles. Perhaps from the point of religion, or my lived experience, or all the other thoughtful people I know. I ask the other to tell me how he arrived at his point of view. Have other intelligent public intellectuals taken the same position?

Where is the evidence?

When I offer my slant on a problem, if it is well organized and reasonable, my counterpart might react with, “That makes sense.”

Such acknowledgements are affirming. Still, I prefer it if my interlocutor asked a question rather than accepting my position without taking a moment to think through the concept or dig deeper. Challenges are desirable because they help me learn.

Information rains down on us at a level unknown to everyone who lived here before us. Even during the first years of television, most of us had access to three major stations; the networks signed off at midnight and returned to broadcasting the next morning.

Today, depending on the source, the news may be mere idiocy or deceit. We can be fooled without extraordinary effort. Moreover, many people find the ideas, reports, and news painful to listen to. They turn away because the full blast fire hose of disaster, unhappiness, and unfairness is too much to bear. The deluge feels like punishment, a form of battery and inundation.

It is easier to reach a quick conclusion about what is right and what is wrong than to gather information and inform ourselves. Instead, we choose to believe we have learned enough. Since we cannot tolerate more, we decide our knowledge is adequate.

In my way of living, I tend to take in more reportage and analysis than most, including different frames of reference.

Nor am I easily driven by emotions such as anger and hate. I have found that by gathering information, reading, and listening to multiple sources, I can reach a sober conclusion.

So I think.

Of course, I am not God, the Pope, or the Dalai Lama.

Yes, I have many concerns about the future of the world and the lives of my loved ones on this planet.

But.

Somehow, I sleep at night, believing I understand what I think is happening.

I have long been asking myself questions. Soon after I reached the age of double digits, I watched newsreel films about World War II on TV or in school. There he was, Chancellor of the Third Reich, wearing a toothbrush mustache—also called the Führer und Reichskanzler—ranting.

The typical response was “It can’t happen here!” Yet I found myself unsettled. What if the dark presence spoke English?

I’d reached 11 or so. Over time, I came to understand that under pressure, much of humanity is not at its best.

Part of our dilemma comes from our appreciation, enjoyment, and vulnerability to stories. Our ancient predecessors needed to be persuaded by a leader who hoped to protect their group of 20 or 30 from dangers, whether from natural disasters or enemies. Similarly, access to healthful food and avoidance of sickening or poisonous substances were essential.

Somebody would tell a story, and if the group survived, the information would spread.

We have long encountered secular, religious, and political tales, sometimes forthright, sometimes not. Their self-interested spin and opportunistic motives might influence others through storytelling.

Each country has its own history and mythology. Widely accepted origins, part legends, bind millions of people who will never meet into a community of trust, shared ideals, and cooperation.

The American history I learned in the middle of the last century made little mention of discrimination against religious minorities among early American settlers. Those books didn’t touch on how white male property owners alone possessed voting rights, or a woman’s lack of standing on numerous issues.

Neither were the brutality, unfairness, and intolerance experienced by the Native Americans, Chinese immigrants, and Japanese citizens of the West Coast a part of the story presented.

Ours was the land of the free and the home of the brave. Not of the Ku Klux Klan and the lynchings of black men.

The confusion of so many of us is exacerbated by algorithms designed to stir us up and drive us to return to the sources we visit.

We are no longer the children of devoted parents who make up stories at bedtime, as I did for my kids—a new one every night to amuse my daughters.

Now, as adults, we are left to ferret out which accounts are accurate and which play us for fools. Beware those who make us think that the other, who lives in another part of the nation, has darker skin, speaks with an accent or a twang, is our enemy.

How shall we reduce our confusion and not be overwhelmed? Take a break from the avalanche of supposed information every so often. Find joy in friendship and love. Eat well and exercise.

Talk about the turmoil, too, and find a connection so that you are not alone.

Learn new non-political things, new games that will keep your brain in shape, and remember what you can be grateful for. Then get back to a part of the news cycle you can manage, be careful of your chosen sources, and do your part to repair the world.

Yes, we are all confused, at least a bit, but there is goodness to be found in our land if we seek it and work to sustain it.

It is the work for all time and for our time.

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All the images above are sourced from Wikimedia Commons. At the top is a Confused Man by Notas de prense. Next comes Confused Young Woman by CollegeDegree360 on Flickr. Finally, Confused User Icon Red by OERDESIGN.

January 4, 2026

About (Your) Face

What does a face do? What unspoken message does it convey?

Man lives in a world of endless mirrors, so plentiful that he cannot escape himself.

Men and women do their best to make themselves presentable and attractive. Some study their default expression and attempt to alter it. The goal is to enhance beauty, masculinity, sincerity, intelligence, approachability, toughness, or fearlessness, among other characteristics.

Are they readable? Perhaps. Can one discover inner qualities based on peering into the face facing him? Sometimes.

Early in life, humanity displays the features it inherited. Later, the adventurous or the unhappy try to transform their appearance.

Others are transformed by their character.

Men display beards or mustaches. Tweezers pull out unsightly hair for both sexes, and high foreheads find long strands traveling downward to cover the upper section by intent.

Moisturizers keep the face soft, while sunscreen helps protect it from the sun’s harmful rays, which can age the skin and cause cancer. Makeup and lipstick play their part.

Time changes body language, and unconscious modification defines the impression one makes before he speaks. Hardness, menace, kindness, indifference, severity, or gentleness might become apparent.

Eyes are sympathetic or piercing. The orbs hold a glance or turn down and away. Inner strength can be read as contempt. The masked face of one who does not wish to be thought of as vulnerable becomes unbecoming. Faces range from welcoming and confident to haughty or insecure.

Lincoln said, “Every man over forty is responsible for his face.”

George Orwell added, “At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves.”

The phrase about-face is both a military order to change direction while standing at attention and a reversal in point of view.

So much of life is about face. A public disgrace or humiliation is described as a loss of face.

All manner of facial expressions can become a person’s arsenal for social interaction. Think of a smirk or frown, interruptions, talking over others, and raised eyebrows.

Add a visage full of contempt, the expressionless deadness of preferring the phone to a lunch partner, boredom, frequent laughing at a so-called friend, and an intimidating presence or state that makes an individual appear twice his size and scary to small children.

Better to unveil the face of an angel if one can.

I am close to a few.

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The top photo by Paul Aigner is of the journalist Olenula for the newspaper “Lukhovitskie Vesti.”

The poster below it features Konrad Adenauer, who served as Chancellor of the Federal Republic of Germany from 1949 to 1963 and was the first leader of the Christian Democratic Union (CDU). Both are sourced from Wikimedia Commons.

December 28, 2025

What If?

You were born very tall or very short?

What if you disliked your name?

What if we lived our faith — practiced it each day?

What if you were married for eternity and lived forever?

What if we changed the world to help those left behind?

What if marriages were all contractual and you could end them every 10 years just by saying so?

What if every day reached 120 degrees Fahrenheit, and water was like gold?

What if you were in line to speak with God for 10 minutes? What would you say? At the end of your time, what might he say to you? Next? 

What if men got pregnant?

What if everyone lost sexual interest at 35?

What if you were born impoverished? Or rich? How would life be different?

What if you could wear only clothes made by famous designers?

What if no one brushed their teeth or used deodorant?

What if hell required imprisonment with someone who disagreed with all of your political opinions?

What if the same person agreed with everything you said and had no ideas of his own? 

What if he believed in a different religion?

What if you suffered from pain every day?

What if you knew what people really think and say about you?

What if the dead could be brought back to life on earth? How would the world change?

What if everyone were taught to use the word love more often than four-letter words? 

What if you had a special piggy bank for charity and put loose change into it every day?

What if you took your kids to a food depository, brought along food, and filled the bags of other donors for those who can’t afford it?

What if you took a homeless person to lunch?

What if we taught kids that money isn’t the secret to happiness and told them what fulfillment really is?

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The first photo is by Hisa Matsumura at the Tottori Sand Dunes, sourced from jameslucasit@substack.com. It is followed by an Elephant at Sunset in Amboseli, Kenya, in Early November 2024. It is the work of the photographic artist, Laura Hedien, presented with her kind permission: Laura Hedien Official Website.

December 14, 2025

Thinking About Indifference

At times, I am at a loss for words. Yesterday, listening to a speech about indifference, for example.

We live in a complicated world. We are all alone in the sense that neither we nor anyone else can get inside the mind and emotions of our companions, parents, strangers, or children. Indeed, one of the first impossibly puzzling thoughts I had in my childhood years was this:

Why am I me?

I recognized that my consciousness was accessible only to myself. Moreover, I wondered why my private ideas and overall awareness were planted solely in my brain and body. Why not in someone else’s being, I asked.

My question for today is different but related. Our separateness guarantees an imperfect grasp of others and the impossibility of being as easily touched by their sufferings as we are by our own. Of course, exceptions exist, as when our children are in pain, but it is not hard for some to look away from others. Indeed, it can be automatic, a defense mechanism that makes the world tolerable.

To look, to see, to recognize leads to searching one’s conscience and a question. Do I have a responsibility to help?

I met only one person in my long clinical practice who lacked the capacity for indifference to others’ distress. She was a bright, young teenage woman whose parents brought her to my office.

This girl could not watch television news without being tormented by human tragedy. It was unbearable, and her heartbreak was beyond her mother and father’s understanding and my own.

The most worthwhile discussion of indifference I have ever encountered was not offered by another mental health professional, but someone who had experienced it. Here is an excerpt from a speech he gave on April 12, 1999. A video of the speech prompted this essay:

What is indifference? Etymologically, the word means “no difference.” A strange and unnatural state in which the lines blur between light and darkness, dusk and dawn, crime and punishment, cruelty and compassion, good and evil. What are its courses and inescapable consequences? Is it a philosophy? Is there a philosophy of indifference conceivable? Can one possibly view indifference as a virtue? Is it necessary at times to practice it simply to keep one’s sanity, live normally, enjoy a fine meal and a glass of wine, as the world around us experiences harrowing upheavals?

Of course, indifference can be tempting (and) more than that, seductive. It is so much easier to look away from victims. It is so much easier to avoid such rude interruptions to our work, our dreams, our hopes. It is, after all, awkward, troublesome, to be involved in another person’s pain and despair. Yet, for the person who is indifferent, his or her neighbor is of no consequence. And, therefore, their lives are meaningless. Their hidden or even visible anguish is of no interest. Indifference reduces the Other to an abstraction.

In a way, to be indifferent to that suffering is what makes the human being inhuman. Indifference, after all, is more dangerous than anger and hatred. Anger can, at times, be creative. One writes a great poem, a great symphony. One does something special for the sake of humanity because one is angry at the injustice that one witnesses. But indifference is never creative. Even hatred, at times, may elicit a response. You fight it. You denounce it. You disarm it.

Indifference elicits no response. Indifference is not a response. Indifference is not a beginning; it is an end. And, therefore, indifference is always the friend of the enemy, for it benefits the aggressor —never his victim, whose pain is magnified when he or she feels forgotten. The political prisoner in his cell, the hungry children, the homeless refugees — not to respond to their plight, not to relieve their solitude by offering them a spark of hope is to exile them from human memory. And in denying their humanity, we betray our own.

Thank you if you are still with me, reading this, pondering, and feeling this. If you live in the United States, I am sure you are aware of the magnetic pull of indifference, the offer of escape from the endless news stories about poverty, cruelty, and unfairness.

I am sure you are aware of people taken into custody on the street, the reported lack of due process, and the 60,000 to 65,000 people said to be in ICE detention.

It is enough to cause some who are not victims to throw away their cell phones, computers, TV sets, and radios.

It is enough to enter a fantasy world of everyday life, or refuse to discuss anything political, day or night.

The man who wrote the words quoted above was Elie Wiesel, a Jewish survivor of the Holocaust. His entire speech is below. He hoped his audience would reflect on a topic called “The Perils of Indifference.”

The last word he utters is “hope.”

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The top photograph is called “Smokey World,” a 1959 work by Fan Ho. Next comes his “Triple Play.” The final image is “As Evening Hurries ” from 1955.

December 7, 2025

What We Do with Time and Thought?

Sometimes advice comes from looking closely. We talk about being readers of speed or slowness, as if a shoulder pressed hard on the grindstone.

A smaller number read and reread, while some avoid books altogether.

But the wise man who penned the capitalized letters above looks more closely. Perhaps he suggests another way to find your way — to think about a life of hesitation, or spontaneity.

To ensure the time is honored and absorbed in full, with little wasted.

Whether we can absorb everything at one go is questionable. Yet it might be worth the effort. Some call it living in the moment, but this is different.

We must think, think about, think through, think enough, and think with clarity about what we are doing, as Hannah Arendt pleaded in her book, The Human Condition.

Making sensible choices isn’t easy.

Let us start with these few ideas.

Should I live with abandon or instead, with care and well-thought-out intention and planning?

Must we take the blame and apologize out of insecurity or out of our need for approval?

How do you determine what is worth giving your life for, and what is worth standing up for despite the risk of defending a principle?

What responsibilities does the status of citizen confer on us?

Are you now, or have you ever been put to the test by telling the truth, lying, or taking arms? How about fighting against a deadly illness, saving the life of another, or donating an internal organ?

Have you come out as a person of unconventional and despised sexual nature, or decided to take on the danger of being unpopular because of political or religious beliefs?

Do you recognize that the loss of your soul, honesty, or morality doesn’t always happen in your response to one significant event, but in small steps that erode your character over time?

If you have a bucket list, consider how long you have postponed fulfilling your desires.

When you reach middle or old age, do you realize that many of the early entries on your list have lost their interest?

Such promissory notes to yourself can be like the suit, dress, pants, or shorts you hope to wear again, only to discover they no longer fit. An old saying applies: You have missed the boat.

Small children tend not to recognize that death lies ahead. As you become somewhat older, the thought occurs to you. When you are older still, would it be wise to remind yourself of your mortality?

Would it be necessary to raise this idea at least once a year?

In middle age and beyond, such a practice becomes less necessary. Your life and the deaths of others announce the issue without your help.

Do you believe you are self-aware? We all miss things. How might you go about learning them? What might be the cost to others and to you?

What is the value of rushing around? What is the value of taking your time?

Have you failed to speak to old friends in years? What is holding you back? What is the value of such people?

Why is it worthwhile to help strangers, including those who are different from you? Do you offer your helping hand face-to-face?

Many external influences have changed you. These include reading news on your phone, using the AI Chatbot, which some describe as a friend, and text messaging.

Are these worthwhile utilities? What do you gain and what do you lose? Do you believe you are saving time as opposed to losing competence to learn and solve problems on your own?

Are you lonely or lonelier than you used to be? Eating alone in the USA has increased by 53% since 2003. The number is much higher among the young.

Do devices like Zoom, frequent job changes, working from home, and a loss of understanding of how to make and keep friends contribute to this problem?

If this is your issue, how do you fill your time when there’s no human contact? Pets, perhaps?

One additional thought about the ticking clock of life. When we are free of essential demands, what do we do?

Meditation can sweep clean awareness of the Earth’s movement around the Sun. What else do we focus on? Exercise, food, the desire to consume, worry, our career, money, relationships, avoidance, and more.

Plato thought of other matters: the contemplation of beauty in moments of quiet.

He focused on the eternal, not immortality, but big and lofty questions regarding the soul, things, and ideas, including nature, beyond temporary joys, lusts, and sorrows.

What do you think?

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The writing at the top of the page is sourced from Edward Zaydelman on Substack.

The weather advice is sourced from MzNickey in East Jesus, TN
November 23, 2025

A Balanced Life?

When I think of a balanced life, I imagine going to the circus. There, you find someone walking the high wire. The pole they hold horizontally helps to keep them aloft as they walk from one platform to another. 

Yes, people have traversed the tightrope for over a mile, but most settle for much less. 

On or off the high wire, it is hard to maintain equilibrium.

Those who talk or write about balance focus on work and life. They add friends, hobbies, religious observance, a partner, raising children, exercise, vacations, meditation, continuing education, and a satisfying home life.

What they don’t mention is death, and they may wonder why it is worth contemplating:

Why should I? I’m trying to have a full life while I am alive, not dead. The thought of my death depresses me.

What is there to fear in your death? Pain, yes, but many encounter severe discomfort well before their demise and live with it for years. Moreover, medical and hospice care near the end of life can often treat and reduce suffering. 

A death that ends anguish may be welcome.

I agree that a loss of a life, in full bloom or before, is a tragedy. Existence robs one of a host of opportunities, the possibility of joy, love, achievement, song, excitement, and more.

Those who do not ponder the brevity of life may, without intention, rob themselves of discovering what might fulfill them. An endless life would not. Infinite survival could well be tiresome, boring, routine, and disappointing, without the chance of escape.

Seneca said, “Life, it is thanks to death that you are precious in my eyes.”

Failing to remind oneself of the end of one’s time, there is less urgency to make the most of the time he has. Awareness of the ticking clock encourages homo sapiens to live more in the moment.

Thinking the unthinkable can create some comfort with the idea of one’s ultimate expiration. Those who take this position, however, should be prepared if the subject alienates others.

Many superb books nonetheless touch on death. They tend to be thoughtful and enlightening, helping you discover where authenticity and growth lie in your season under the sun. 

Somerset Maugham wrote this in The Razor’s Edge: 

“Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.”

Maugham’s principal character in the novel is Larry Darrell, whose best friend in WWI died saving him. He returned home transformed, preoccupied with all the essential questions. Who am I? Why am I living and not my friend? What is the value of life? How can I best find the answers? 

He refuses jobs that would lead to conventional success and wealth. Darrell lives modestly, is put off by social climbing, and instead associates with people of more humble means than his old friends do. 

Larry chooses to work in a coal mine, later lives with Benedictine monks, and travels to India to discover the wisdom of Hinduism. His homecoming to the United States continues his rejection of money, power, and high station in a materialistic society.

This man is fearless and curious about the ways of the world. He does not know all the answers, but he knows the questions and what he must pursue to learn more.  

Ancient philosophers came to terms with the idea of the end of our being, something more immediate in a time when life expectancy was short. According to the Daily Stoic, Socrates said philosophy is “about nothing else but dying and being dead.”

The practice of bringing death to the forefront is called Memento Mori (Remember you must die). Buddhists and Sufis also have long histories in this approach to living.

It would not surprise me if you remain unconvinced of the value of more attention to your departure from the planet. In that event, you might take the words of Oscar Wilde as a model of how to approach the question: 

My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One of us has got to go.

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All of the paintings are sourced from Wikart.org/ The first is Paul Klee’s 1923 Rope Dancer. It is followed by August Macke’s 1914 Tightrope Walker. The final image is Remedios Varo’s 1944 Tightrope Walkers.

November 16, 2025

How Happiness and Perspective Change as We Age

We take many things for granted. Healthy young people don’t think of their bodies as an enormous gift. They take their physical capabilities as they are, with little thought.

Vision, walking, listening, and talking fall into the same category.

I understand a bit about hearing loss via accident. Six years ago, an ENT (ear, nose, and throat specialist) tried to remove wax from my left ear using a suction machine. The device made a screech (her word), impairing my ability to enjoy music without distortion thereafter.

Within six months, I’d come to accept my circumstances and bounce back to my baseline level of happiness. This year, I obtained new AI hearing aids that mitigate the damage to a degree I never expected.

A remarkable gift.

Humans tend not to anticipate the loss of others until they are gone, unless the relationship is already strained or heavily dependent on continuing support. One of the first experiences of such heartbreak in a child’s life occurs when a friend and her parents move away.

A possibly apocryphal story involves the famous baseball player Mickey Mantle, who had nightmares after his retirement. The dream found him attempting to crawl under a fence to return to playing at Yankee Stadium.

The slugger never made it onto the field in his sleeping fantasy. He got stuck beneath the imaginary barrier.

Some of those who were upset by the November 2024 election have discovered how much they assumed the republican form of democracy would last, as it had for almost 250 years.

When something is lost or we live with dread about the possibility, the value we place on the person or skill often increases. In cases where the prize remains retrievable, the individual may make an effort to prevent its disappearance.

Think of getting a new doctor to save a life, trying a painful or experimental treatment, or taking political action to defend a nation,

There are limits. Mickey Mantle never got back to his old ballpark except in a non-playing capacity. Performers on stage cannot retrieve the gifts of their youth and sometimes make the mistake of continuing their professional appearances to the point of embarrassment or worse.

Applause is like an addiction.

Arturo Toscanini, the famous symphony conductor, made his final appearance as leader of his NBC Orchestra in 1954, at the age of 87. In the next-to-last composition on the program, he froze. The maestro was later thought to have suffered a TIA (a mini-stroke).

Changes in attractiveness call up the issue of human vanity. The Wicked Queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs did not accept it when her stepdaughter began to outshine her in beauty. Rather than be less than “the fairest of them all,” as her magic mirror had always told her, she decided to murder her young competitor.

Humanity’s challenge is to adapt, from the beginning to the end of life. That said, the youthful can’t comprehend how much they will be changed by the hand of time. The future alterations of their qualities and the people they care about must be lived through to be understood.

Too often, appreciation of health and good fortune comes late.

A few are wise about this, however.

Sandy Koufax, the legendary Los Angeles Dodger pitcher, retired at age 30 due to chronic elbow pain, not wishing to cause permanent damage to his arm. The lefthander did not look back with regret, having achieved the top of his profession.

I’ve got a lot of years to live after baseball and I would like to live them with the complete use of my body. I don’t regret one minute of the last twelve years, but I think I would regret one year that was too many.[

As a consequence, Koufax, now 89, is remembered for his glorious final seasons, escaping the decline many performers experience in their last days on the field.

From the outside, the audience has an easier time adjusting to such things.

I attended numerous recitals by the pianist Rudolf Serkin. When age caught up to him, I decided not to attend any more of his performances. I wished to remember him as he was at the peak of his artistic technique and imagination, not as a man who should have left earlier.

Mother Nature has her way, with some surgical exceptions. Cosmetic surgery is a prime example of the value placed on appearance.

Losses also confer unexpected benefits. Research reveals that men and women tend to be happier in old age than in youth and midlife.

Loren Olsen notes in Psychology Today that improvements in perspective and attitude can be associated with aging, despite the unwanted physical and mental changes that aging entails. His list includes:

  • Acceptance of self and others
  • The desire for a deeper connection
  • Wisdom and empathy
  • Capacity for forgiveness
  • Gratitude
  • Resilience
  • Less emotional volatility and impulsivity

Urgency due to the shortness of time ahead need not cause anxiety and terror. Many make the most of their remaining time instead of wasting it. The value of time increases when Mother Nature does not compromise the body and brain excessively.

I don’t imagine you want to become old, but you might be surprised at how much pleasure you take when you are.

As WFMT radio’s Studs Terkel used to say, “Take it easy, but take it.”

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The list quoted from Loren Olsen was obtained from the online version of Psychology Today, July 21, 2023: To Be Happier, Start Thinking Like an Old Person: The Paradoxes of Aging, Mental Health, and Positivity.

The photos, in order, are of Mickey Mantle in 1956, Mantle hitting a home run in the 1952 World Series on YouTube, Sandy Koufax in 1964, Arturo Toscanini, and Rudolf Serkin.

November 9, 2025

Making the Best of Life in a Time of Uncertainty

Play along with me.

Imagine things have not gone well. In fact, you are serving a life sentence in a strange, outdoor prison, alone with no escape possible.

You perform the one job required of you. Push an enormous boulder up to the top of the hill, from which it will fall back to where you began.

Repeat, repeat, repeat without end.

You may recall the character so condemned is named Sisyphus. In Greek myth, this man alienated Zeus and was assigned the pointless, eternal task as punishment.

Yet there is another take on the poor fellow’s desperate state. It is the perspective of Albert Camus, a French writer, philosopher, journalist, and political activist.

Camus believed life to be absurd, absent certainty of its meaning. To him, faith, by itself, was not enough to still the trepidation of the human heart.

Since the universe offers no answer to the question, what remains is our instinctive desire to live and create a life worthy of living.

The Frenchman encourages us to revolt against routine. Given the absurdity and meaninglessness, a human’s best adaptation is to embrace life creatively, striving for authenticity despite all else.

Thus, Camus’s view of Sisyphus is that he must rebel in opposition to the intended aimless and soul-killing routine of his punishment. In doing so, he may yet overcome internally that which cannot be overcome.

The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.

We are encouraged to seek our own purpose and joy, as this prisoner might have. Our task is to set aside the quest for direction from above, as well as the misguided pursuits we sometimes impose on ourselves.

One could stop consideration of Sisyphus right here, but another person offers a different perspective. Woody Allen, whose interviews and movies often explore the question of life’s meaning, didn’t think Camus’s solution to Sisyphus’s dilemma was sufficient.

Woody wondered what the rock-roller would do if somehow, the imposing boulder reached the top of the hill and got stuck.

To Allen, Sisyphus would then face the same conditions we all do. To find a way through the thicket of life in the hope of giving each day value.

Allen believes each of us faces the Sisyphian challenge, but without the massive stone. For him, the question of meaning and animating our lives to defeat routine is always present.

Thus, we search for fulfillment, making of life what we will. The unanswered questions remain.

Why, for what, to what end?

These questions offer us a blank slate we might think of as an opportunity.

For reasons we cannot be sure of, we have been dropped into the thing called life. Our only certainty is that it will terminate, but its ending urges us to make the very best of it every day.

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The painting at the top, Yellow, Red, Blue (1925), is by Wassily Kandinsky. It is followed by Sisyphus by Titian (1548-1549). Both are sourced from Wikiart.org.

November 2, 2025

The Heartache of Breaking up with Lifelong Friends

Heartbreak is not limited to romance. The departures of pets and people are not so different in triggering the sadness of lost love.

A break with living, lifelong friends, too, weighs heavily upon the soul.

The best childhood companions, akin to brothers and sisters, know you better than anyone else. They live in the same neighborhood, at the exact moment in history. Buddies visit the selfsame stores, walk the worn streets, and play on the gravel, asphalt, and dirt fields, which soon vanish and turn into shared memories.

Spending so much time together brings young men close. Each one spoke to the other’s parents and bathed in their goodwill, eating at their table.

Chums of half a lifetime or more remember teachers, recall the jokes heard in the hallways, and endure the tests of growing up, getting grades, and making a life.

Trust grows with time if the companions are well-matched. Like lovers who rub each other raw upon occasion, you break up and you make up. Your spouse hears about your past and your secrets, but can never witness yesterday’s events as they unfold.

She interprets your description of who you were, sharing a life with who you are.

And then? Time can splinter the old gang and the ones you are closest to. The spouse might not approve of your pal or your mate’s girlfriend. Moving away, changes in status and wealth, the need to attend to one’s children, and the business of life stretch the rubber band of affection.

Differences arise. Hurt feelings enter from words and actions as if dropping from the sky. If they repeat, temporary reconciliation might reach a breaking point. Yet, out there somewhere, the person who remembers your parents and your siblings when they were young still exists.

Apologies require courage and hope. When endings happen, the comrade lives as part of you, sometimes preoccupying you as much as a first love you never get over.

As long as there is life in two people, the possibility of reunion may also live on. When one of the pair has grieved the loss and realizes reconciliation will not work, then the end of closeness precedes a different kind of departure.

I have treated such heartbreak as a therapist, and lived it, as well. Some things can be healed, others cannot. Gratitude for the grand times past remains a blessing if you can manage it.

My advice? Make as many friends as you can and show all the kindness of which you are capable.

AI tells us this:

A long-term Harvard study found that strong relationships are the most important factor in a happy and long life, more so than money or fame.

The best direction?

Always look for love.

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The top picture is Friendship Bond as created by Kwesi2002. The photo below is of Red Breaks by John Fowler, from Placitas, NM, USA. Both are sourced from Wikimedia Commons.