Finding a Morality to Live With

When we talk about morality, we tend to call out who is moral or not, without defining what is moral or not. Consider two examples of how to be virtuous.

  1. Do not do to another what you do not wish to be done to you. (The Golden Rule).
  2. Injure no one; on the contrary, help everyone as much as you can.

Let’s compare these. Both advise against causing harm, but the first considers only what we don’t like, not what our counterpart doesn’t want done to himself.

When employing this behavioral direction, our opinion is the only one that matters. The standard we choose doesn’t account for differences in likes and dislikes between ourselves and another person.

Each of us decides how to behave by assuming the other person is like us. We determine which interactions with the stranger are permissible. Another individual might disagree.

The second example presents an alternative. We aren’t instructed to define what is satisfactory conduct toward our fellow man. The statement requires no judgment. It simply tells us to injure no one and assist everyone instead.

The Categorical Imperative is a third approach to ethical behavior. “Act only according to that maxim whereby you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law.” (Immanuel Kant).

The words tell us to live by rules we believe ought to apply to the entirety of humanity.

There is no wiggle room here. Immanuel Kant (1724 – 1804) believed such requirements don’t arise from lived experience but are inherent in all rational beings.

Kant, of course, never encountered the work of Jonathan Haidt, a still active social psychologist. His research demonstrates that we are all, to a significant extent, influenced by emotions when making moral judgments.

The preceding three examples are suggestions, not demands. Nothing about them compels us to follow their direction, unless we are required by law or have taken a religious oath.

Why do we need guidance at all?

Thomas Hobbes, a 17th-century English philosopher, didn’t think we would manage well on our own. He described human existence without laws and penalties as subject to continual fear and the danger of violent death. He conceived of the life of a man as solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”

Yikes!

Arthur Schopenhauer, the 19th-century German philosopher, added to our understanding of morality. He reminded us that motives are essential to our grasp of what constitutes a genuine moral act.

For example, we sometimes display extraordinary kindness to others in the hope of gaining a particular privilege.

In cases of this sort, the behavior of the men or women would fail the test of virtuous intention. They seek something for themselves.

Schopenhauer also points to the power of the forces of ego, passion, and desire within each of us. If we are to lead a righteous life, resisting temptation, we will need considerable willpower and self-discipline to restrain our wants.

You shall decide whether any of the views of morality offered here are valuable. Add any other one you favor or dismiss them as you like.

Before you do, you might ponder the advice provided by religion. Some ancient holy documents encourage fidelity and morality, promising prosperity on earth and in the afterlife, while threatening consignment to hell if you fail.

Google reports this:

While there are around 10,000 distinct religions in the world, over three-quarters of the global population adheres to one of these four – Christianity (31%), Islam (24%), Hinduism (15%), and Buddhism (7%).

All of them offer their own view of what an upright life is and isn’t.

Clearly, the definition of morality depends on many factors.

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The first image is of a Woman Being Rescued from the Ruins of Her House After It Was Struck by a V-2 Rocket in 1944 London. The photo is the work of George Roger and sourced from History Daily.

The second photo shows a Rescue in Africa from Drowning, taken by GiftedLydia.

Finally, A Young Child and Mother Watch as their Aircraft Takes off from St. Maarten to San Juan, Puerto Rico, in the Aftermath of Hurricane Irma in 2017.

The last two were sourced from Wikimedia Commons.

Laughing to Normalize Our Lives

The sky is gray today. A dash of dirt fouls the perfect blue of days long past.

I remember when jets were rare, propeller planes dominated the atmosphere, and skywriters created their art overhead before dropping it into our astonished eyes.

Don’t worry, I’m about to scrub the air clean and make you laugh a bit.

Things have changed. While they always do, many of these alterations have caught us off guard.

What do we do about it? I don’t mean improve the climate or our politics, but manage our attention, emotion, and the focus of our thoughts.

Humor is essential.

With that in mind, here are some suggestions:

Distraction, for example, takes several forms.

Travel to new places where the skies are still blue, art museums flourish, the food is delicious, and buildings withstand the test of time.

All you need are some air traffic controllers who are getting paid.

Alcohol and drugs are staples of self-distraction and self-destruction diets. An intoxicating choice.

Dance until you drop.

Memorize Edgar Allen Poe’s old poetry, like The Raven and The Conqueror Worm. These will make you think life today is far more delightful.

Persuade yourself that climate change is fake, God will save you because you are faithful, and those who suffer when The Iceman Cometh deserve what they get.

I’m not referring to the 1939 Eugene O’Neill play of the same name.

Meditate, of course, and watch sitcoms, too, perhaps simultaneously.

Refrain from reading newspapers, even online, and let the algorithms take you to calming, amusing, optimistic topics only.

Stay away from friends and relatives who want to talk about the dark side of life. If you can’t avoid them, carry a lantern to lighten and illuminate your mood.

Forget about Diogenes, an ancient Greek founder of cynicism. He carried a lamp during the daytime to help find an honest man.

Have sex at least three times a day. Partners not required.

Wear a blindfold so you exchange the metaphorical darkness for some real dark. Adopt a seeing-eye dog, who will give lots of love without the evening news report.

Prepare to move to the South Pole. Start by getting a top-flight air conditioner and wearing heavy clothes and jackets. Practice building snowmen to provide social contact.

Hallucinatory conversations will take care of themselves.

Recall the worst date you ever endured. Phone the person and invite them out for another try. This will distract you from the state of the world.

Bring aspirin anyway.

If you haven’t called your mother for a while, do so and receive the well-deserved guilt-trip. You will feel better once the berating ends.

Eat your favorite ice cream as rendered by its best manufacturer. As an alternative, buy superb chocolate and enjoy yourself.

When the administration defunds something you need, like health insurance or food assistance, remember there is fun in defunding, just not for you.

To close, the ultimate solution to living in our times.

Imagine you are Sisyphus, the ancient Greek punished by Zeus. The poor fellow had to push a giant boulder up a hill for eternity. He continued without end because the weighty rock always rolled down.

If you compare that to every job you have had, including your time of unemployment, it will be a step up.

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The top image is Diogenes by Bert-olgun, sourced from tonpool.com.

Beneath that is Sisyphus. It is the work of Hasanisawi and sourced from Wikimedia.org.

What We Sometimes Learn in School

Teachers sometimes have a gift. It involves more than just lecturing, questioning, or preaching. The instructor brings the lessons alive.

Here is one brief example, which is troublesome due to the way the lesson is delivered.

Nonetheless, it is powerful and relevant to the student in all of us.

About Justice.


Hot Pursuit: When You Scare Potential Lovers

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6f/Blindfold_%28PSF%29.png/256px-Blindfold_%28PSF%29.png

I can’t wait. Three words that get us into a lot of trouble. Especially in the hot pursuit of love.

Waiting is difficult. Think of the doctor’s waiting room, or an unchanging traffic light. Or perhaps marking time for a job interview or hoped-for movement in the grocery store.

Zen practitioners remind us that these situations offer opportunities to learn patience, not evoke annoyance. Indeed, there is something worthwhile in their point of view if you are trying to win a potential lover.

Timing counts (pun intended). Lots of questions to answer: how often to call or text, when to display affection, and how to express feelings for the other.

Where is your heart?

I’m not talking about how soon to make love. As difficult as such decisions can be, many people are not troubled by outward physical acts. Instead, the issues I’m raising have to do with showing you care, a thing beyond sexuality.

Extremes of behavior tend to be dangerous. The anxious young admirer either holds back or rushes to reveal that the beloved is his starlit night sky and morning’s birdsong. Sometimes it causes the desired one to run screaming into a less magical night, as far from you as possible.

She is right to be scared if you betray her importance to you after spending two evenings with her! Pedestals are expensive, and your love may have a fear of heights! The faster you dash after her, the speedier she will sprint, without discovering anything worthwhile about you.

When the flood and drama of urgency begin, the full-throttle pressure to chase your freshly anointed favorite is almost unbearable.

It is hard to withhold what is oozing from your veins or betraying your emotions in some other way: candy, flowers, poetry, and endless compliments—all with a perpetually melting gaze, the type puppy dogs offer their mistresses.

You become so enamored of the other that your soul aches upon hearing her voice, and her smile at you makes you want to cheer.

Get a grip if you can—a big if, my friend. Some restraint might be necessary to give the relationship and mutual feelings time to develop.

How will you select the moment or manner of disclosing your desire? Sometimes, signs signal she shares your sentiments, at least a little, and wants you to proceed.

Unfortunately, green and red work perfectly only on traffic lights.

Confused?

If you are inclined to verbalize the premature “I adore you,” it is almost impossible to stop yourself.

Second, the intimations can be indecipherable without a lot of experience (and, on occasion, with it).

One needs practice in figuring out another person. Making a fool of yourself and having your heart broken are a part of growing up. When you are in love, your soul makes you do things your brain thinks unwise.

If you keep taking the first step and it always falls flat, it’s time to pursue therapy. The same would be true if you never take the risk. A bruised ego is part of your instruction.

Our hearts are not unbreakable. Romance can be a train wreck, but a dangerous ride is the only transport to a destination we long for. As Bart Giamatti wrote:

It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.

Giamatti wrote this about baseball, but he might as well have been writing about falling in love or anything about which we care deeply.

Anything in which the dream of winning is unfulfilled.

We are such stuff as dreams are made on.

So voiced the redoubtable William Shakespeare.

Dreams of love are like flowers—they need planting and watering; some good weather and time to cultivate. Do not pick the just-opened bud too soon.

Do your best, but don’t expect to remake yourself. We humans are less than ideal at seeing into the soul of another. As terrible as it is, we all need some heartbreak—it helps you grow in maturity, understanding, and compassion.

Remember, almost everyone recovers.

Try again. Somewhere, somehow—someone may be waiting.

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The top image is called Blindfolded Boy Chasing Another, courtesy of Pearson Scott Foresman. It is followed by Holi: A Sacred Ancient Tradition of Hindus, by Shohrab Hossain Titu. Both pictures are sourced from Wikimedia Commons.

Of Innocence and Hard Experience

I called a man I didn’t know. The reason doesn’t matter. When no one answered, I left a message, but not before hearing the cleverest recorded invitation I’ve ever encountered. It ended with the words:

You leave it, I’ll retrieve it.

I did connect with the fellow a day later,  but he said that a meeting between us would have to wait until he returned from Europe. He died soon after his trip home. The six-word sentence had transformed into a non-sequitur, an illogical request given his demise.

He could no longer “retrieve it.” He had “left” the message and all else. Whatever remained would have to be retrieved by someone other than this person, divided among his heirs, or thrown away. One hopes those words were not his last for those he cared about.

The stranger had a prolonged bout with cancer and defeated it, or at least knocked it to the ground for a long while. Some cancers enter remission, partial or complete. These multi-formed monsters can be tricky devils, pushed to the mat and unconscious after they have been drugged out or cut out. Time passes. If they spring up with renewed strength, the disease has been known to take no prisoners, sweeping a life away as if it were a breadcrumb on the dinner table.

I have lost friends and relatives in this way, but have dodged the menace myself. It remains unimaginable to me. Of course, I can try to imagine it, but there must be a difference between thinking of it from the outside and living the invasion from the inside.

We don’t own complete awareness, not even those who have overcome it. I have suffered close to unendurable physical pain for other reasons, but I lack the words, the memory, and the feelings to describe those episodes even to myself. The capacity to retrieve past agonies in visceral form would ruin most futures. Recreating them in full would poison time.

I do know the fear of its return remains for many who have survived cancer. A different thing from anguish, but by itself, terrifying.

We all watch children whose joy is without such concerns. Those with loving parents, good health, and food on the table live in innocence, free of life’s terrible possibilities. The kids are like Adam and Eve before they ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Their bodies flip, leap, bounce, spin, laugh, and smile.

God bless them.

If I could, I would wave a magic wand and make this simple purity permanent.

I helped adults and teens achieve better lives, but magic was not my specialty then and is not now. If it were, two boys — my grandchildren — would be first in line to benefit from my prestidigitation.

Love is a wonderful experience, but innocence — the opposite of nightmarish disease — cannot be rendered in words or memory. We watch the wonder of our children’s joy and are filled with gladness.

Perhaps that is what remains of innocence past childhood.

A gift for us, too.

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A Small Car For Kids by ekstrazabawki.pl, sourced from Wikimedia Commons.

Where Did All the Bullies Go?

When I was a kid, like all the boys who came before and after me, I learned to deal with bullies. Some fellows fled, others took them on.

One young man-mountain, who was tall and overweight, sat on me once. Another, whose fiery red hair matched the impression that I should stay away, had a beautiful girlfriend whose mother abused her.

She was drawn to such people.

No matter, I stood my ground in defense of one of my brothers and discovered it was worse to be a coward than to take a licking. A few lickings.

At my pugilistic best, I knocked the air out of a classmate named Ernie. It was terrifying to watch him on the ground, writhing and gasping for breath. There is no satisfaction in doing harm, no matter the justification.

As I got older, I discovered that I did better with words than fists. I didn’t always prevail, but I became the person I wanted to be over the course of years.

Matching wits in cross-examination as an expert witness is exhilarating and exhausting, but informs you who you are if you don’t already know. I excelled at it, though it wasn’t a large part of my practice.

Bullies are still present in the world, even though I am well past the point of a street brawl. And while I am not a joiner, you will find me at some rallies and marches. The cause is just, and the exhilaration of a courtroom joust is not so different than joining others for a worthy cause.

The photo above is somewhat like a man in an empty suit. He tries to scare you, but there is really not much to him.

Life is full of tough guys, and we all encounter frauds like the Wizard of Oz, but when you check behind the screen, the loud boasting reminds you of the kids who used to push you around if you let them.

I am old, and I got tired of being afraid some time ago.

As the Stoics of antiquity remind us, tests offer opportunities. Seneca wrote: 

Every difficulty in life presents us with an opportunity to turn inward and to invoke our own inner resources. The trials we endure can and should introduce us to our strengths.

Only then do we discover who we are. 

I am not very pleased to take on such contests. I wasn’t, either, as a kid, but it was necessary then, and it is needed now.

I have grandchildren, you know.

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The “Ghost Sculpture” was sourced from James Lucas on Substack. 

 

 

About Methuselah’s Autograph

 

On Wednesday, I promised those who read today’s post the possibility of winning an autograph of Methuselah, the 969-year-old man of the ancient world.

Unfortunately, there is a problem on the autograph front.

First, Methuselah didn’t know many words. Some have suggested that this limitation on his ability to think not only compromised his ability to write, but also the concerns and ideas that bother most of us. Issues such as status, wealth, and men colored orange.

He did say one sentence whenever he approached a desirable woman, however:

Sex, huh?

This might explain how he happened to father a son named Lamech at the age of 187.

In the ancient world, numerous con artists existed. Once Methuselah reached the age of 187, he became a celebrity. Moreover, proud of his new boy, he widened his vocabulary:

Lemach, huh?

As you can imagine, everyone wanted to discover his secret to a long and active life.

Mr. M. didn’t have anything more to say, but others, also claiming to be Methuselah, tried to cash in on his longevity.

It was pretty easy to steal someone’s identity in those days. No photography, widespread illiteracy, and no driver’s licenses or birth certificates. 

Bartering for an autographed papyrus became a common practice.

Unfortunately, the one in my possession is a fake. As Samuel Goldwyn, the movie mogul, used to say, “A verbal contract isn’t worth the papyrus it’s written on.”

The Methuselah fiasco must be disappointing to you, but do not give up all hope.

I am in negotiations for copies of Socrates’ famous Book of Beverages

His brew of hemlock will knock you out.

Get Ready!

Since I am well into the Social Security years, it seems entirely fitting that I should tell you what I have learned about aging. Some it it will be funny, some serious, and some both.

Put simply, I intend to offer guidance about how to survive aging (sort of).

If you read to the end of the upcoming post, you will be entered into a drawing to receive the only know autograph of Methuselah, who is said to have lived 969 years!

See, you are already on your way! 

Get ready and good luck!

The Seasons of Life and Some Suggestions

In the lives of my grandparents, precise knowledge of the year or day of their birth was not guaranteed.

Unlike those who lived at a slower pace, we have become preoccupied with time, perhaps beginning with the railroad trains in 1854. They were able to provide “on time arrival.”

We are at the mercy of time; we lose time, we search for time, and are sometimes early or late.

Magnificent works of art, music, books, and theater are called timeless. Why? Because they defeat the passage of the years by remaining seen, read, and performed long past their creation, just as they were.

Those towering man-made creations tell us that we can produce the timeless, but we — the creators —are not timeless.

For the young, the passing seasons matter only when it comes to Christmas presents, birthdays, and the dates that order the school calendar, signaling the beginning and end of summer vacation.

Somewhat later, the mirror watches us in recognition of our aging. Do we look back? That depends on how brave we are.

One thing we neither read about nor hear much is that we live in different stages, to the point of being one person or personality at one age and a different person at another. Our bodies, knowledge, experience, brains, and chemistry are constantly transforming.

It follows that we will not live in the same way at 45 as we do at 25. Nor can the 45-year-old live as he will at 65, or even predict what his nature will be at that time.

In a sense, this turns the question of mortality on its head. The person we were earlier is not the person we are later. If we live with an eye on the person we are now, we will not plan for the person we will be. Indeed, we have no certainty about who we will become anyway.

The unfathomable alterations in the seasons of our lives underline the significance of living well as a 20-year-old, when you are 20. Fall in love, use your body to its fullest potential, and excel in age-sensitive skills like math if you have the talent.

Remember, you live on a moving walkway.

Enjoy your favorite foods until you develop a taste for something different. Baseball players tend to peak around the age of 27, so play, sprint, or swim as much as you can. Don’t make bucket list plans. The old man you will be at retirement won’t be you.

Understand this. I had no recognition of any of this until I experienced it firsthand. I am still living it and watching friends in the same process of transformation. Younger people, too.

I doubt that most of you will internalize any of this. Unless, that is, you are in the grasp of the sculptor we call time.

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The painting above is “Clock ” by Philip Guston, sourced from Wikiart.org.

Story Telling and Our Weakness for Misinformation

Think about stories. We have them and tell them, all of us. That has been true since the time of Stone Age Man. He tried to explain the world, the sun, the moon, and the stars. Add the plants, animals, and seasons, as well as how to make the best tools, and survive. 

If someone else had a better or more entertaining account of his circumstances, perhaps the first tale would have been altered or forgotten.

The stories that bound small groups together had an advantage over other, more disparate groups of Homo sapiens. The accounts of how to endure and prosper were useful. 

These ideas kept people secure, instructed them in the refinement of weapons, and more. It explained how and when to plant vegetables, communicated strategies for difficult times, and enabled teamwork in self-defense.

Groups that shared the same story prospered and got larger over time. They were made up of people who identified with each other, in part because they shared the same stories, practices, and beliefs. Yuval Harari,* the author of Nexus, provides a more extended view of the role of narratives that cemented various tribes to one another.

What does this have to do with misinformation?

Stories don’t have to be true. A leader who might offer incomplete or flawed knowledge, in some cases could be persuasive in leading followers and making beneficial decisions about peace and war. Tales about the leader’s strengths, the magnetism of his voice and appearance, and his benevolent nature might create a halo effect of confidence in his talents.

Think of how young ones believe in Santa Claus or Superman. Some stories win over adherents, in part, because parents, educators, or clergy encourage belief in them from an early age.

Adults find religious stories compelling for several reasons. Many explain how the world works, provide meaning, describe how best to live, promise a reward after death, and offer a like-minded community. Religions have both benefited mankind and done harm.

Ancient wisdom should not be dismissed with ease, no matter a sceptic’s perspective. Again, stories don’t have to be verifiable to persuade and benefit much of mankind, but sometimes set them against unbelievers, both spiritual and political.

Religion and faith have also enabled communities of worshipers to survive. Faith-based conviction has fueled the inspirational words and actions of leaders like Reverend Martin Luther King Jr.

Attractive and fluent influencers, as well as TV ads, promote alleged excellent products and themselves via brief stories. These performers often suggest that those who do as they do can become more like them. Direct or implied messages cause some of their viewers to model their decisions on what to wear and what to value.

A common phrase descriptive of free trumpeting of products goes, “If the product is free, you are the product.” You pay with loss of privacy, the capture of your attention, becoming the unaware object of persuasion, and perhaps losing your free will.

Humans are vulnerable. With some frequency, they buy into the merchandise promoted and sometimes the promise of little more than hope and a chance to fulfill their desires. 

Goods featured in commercials are touted by everyday folks who claim miraculous transformations. They tell of prior unhappiness. Not just physical distress, but a lack of confidence, sleep, and relationships. With this background, they indicate their lives have been transformed by the wondrous cosmetic, machine, or supplement being sold.

Algorithms determine what captures our attention, including those presenters, products, games, and politicians we find compelling. Recall Michael Jordan, a charismatic basketball star, who is associated with Air Jordan footwear, clothing, and the commercial slogan “Be like Mike.”

Yuval Harari emphasizes that fiction, inclusive of conspiracy theories, has two advantages over truth.

First, fiction can be made as simple as we like, whereas the truth tends to be complicated, because the reality it is supposed to represent is complicated.

Second, the truth is often painful and disturbing, and if we try to make it more comforting and flattering, it will no longer be the truth.

One example is trying to change the minds of those who believe man-made climate change is fake news. Persuasion might require a detailed explanation and a discussion of research methods and findings, which may be beyond the typical listener’s ability to follow. Such a presentation also risks humiliating the subject, returning him to the days of boring lectures by a know-it-all instructor.

There is more. In our troubled and untrusting world, many are not open to information that unsettles their well-being. They may look away due to the stress of the truth of what is happening.

A person’s worldview is often attached to other beliefs that would be undercut by changing such an opinion. It can be easier to believe in untruths and keep on the right side of one’s social circle. 

Painful knowledge that frays or ends relationships with friends and relatives, and loses the benefit of belonging, comes at a high cost. A hoax can be comforting on multiple levels.

The planet is a complicated place these days, but it offers rewards that require recognition of what is happening in it. The birds still sing, the sun still shines, and children still delight in an ice cream cone on a hot day. May they flourish.

We are the caretakers and defenders of such moments, and what astronomer Carl Sagan referred to as a “pale blue dot.”

Earth and all its living things.

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All of the photos are the work of Laura Hedien, presented with her kind permission: Laura Hedien Official Website.

In order from the top, they include Elephant at Sunset in Amboseli, Kenya, Early November 2024. Next is a Supercell in Lubbock, Texas, in June 2025. Finally, Texas Sunset with Sunflare in June 2023.

*Here is the link to Yuval Harari’s Nexus, which served as a foundation for this essay.