The title by itself is scary. Will you read the post, or are you already put off by the possibility it will unsettle you?
After all, your flesh is not a suit of armor, and the daily news carries enough trouble before 10:00 a.m. to fill the whole day.
The problem with anxiety is that it waits with infinite patience. Hiding from it means it will pop up on its own schedule as an uninvited companion, knowing it can have its way whenever it wants to. Terror is like a schoolyard bully who smiles when he reads the “Kick Me” sign on your back.
I’m guessing the name Eleanor Roosevelt is not familiar to the majority of Americans, but she is the person who said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”
This woman was scared as a child, friendless, terrified of the dark, and much else. Did I say she became the wife of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the U.S. President from 1933 to 1945? The Chief Executive had his own challenges, including confinement in a wheelchair from which he couldn’t escape without assistance.
His future spouse, who would survive her husband by 17 years, was timid, unattractive, and lonely growing up. The early deaths of her parents left her with a severe, rejecting grandmother. Yet, she recreated herself as something more than a hesitant ugly duckling: “No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and loyalty are stamped upon her face all will be attracted to her.”
Mrs. Roosevelt achieved world fame as more than the country’s First Lady. She took advantage of her position as a champion of civil rights for African Americans and brought dark-skinned guests into the White House. As a widow, Mrs. R. was appointed the spokesperson for her country as the U.S. Delegate to the United Nations General Assembly.
The insecure child molded her fragile self into a fearless spokeswoman for her husband and on behalf of causes in which she believed. Not satisfied to vanish into a man’s shadow, her voice was heard everywhere.
In a conversation around 1957, the interviewer asked her about dread and the courage to overcome it:
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. Your are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
This woman did not take her privileged life for granted, nor did she glory in jewelry or high fashion.
The influential and wealthy family she was born into believed in noblesse oblige. These two French words describe the obligation of all those at the highest reaches of life to display generosity to people in need.
Might you wish to employ this woman’s suggestion about overcoming fear?
Act. Don’t wait. Take small steps.
Make the phone call you dread, ask the favor you expect to be rejected or say no to someone who never reciprocates your kindness.
Take an elevator to the top floor of the tallest building you can find, ride a roller coaster, or eat something new.
Tell a joke and defend yourself when the bully shows up.
Fashion your own list of uncomfortable situations, such as eating in a restaurant alone or visiting a part of the city unfamiliar to you. Rank the items and begin at the bottom, the easiest.
Think of your day as a chance to experiment, to play with your life like a game. The crowd won’t remember you if you stumble. These spectators are far too preoccupied with themselves.
The Chinese word Weiji speaks to the issue of managing the kind of discomfort the former First Lady had in mind. The term is comprised of two characters. The first means dangerous or precarious. The second refers to a change point. In effect, we must adapt, remake ourselves, and overcome situations in our power to master.
As Eleanor Roosevelt conceived of life, each day carried many possibilities. Each person’s job was to use them.
Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.
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All but the July 1933 photo of the 48-year-old Eleanor Roosevelt are the work of the wonderful photographer/artist Laura Hedien, with her permission: Laura Hedien Official Website.
The top image is a Supercell Storm Near Springfield, CO, on June 16, 2023. The Bald Eagle Along the Mississippi River, IL, was taken in April of the same year. Finally, a Grain Elevator Reflection, Nebraska, May 2023.
“You must do the one thing you think you cannot do.” Those words from wise Eleanor Roosevelt have served me well, countless times. Such a lovely post – full of inspiration.
Thank you, Dr. Stein! 😊
Thank you, Vicki. She was a woman ahead of her time who forged her time and the time ahead. Worth knowing, for sure.
🙂
I’ve been doing that all my life, Dr. Stein. I need a break 😀
I agree with Dr. Stein! I believe that Eleanor R. would have bee proud of you!
Thanks, Tamara 🙂
You are not alone, Rosaliene, though you have taken on far more challenges than most. Eleanor Roosevelt would have been proud of you!
Thanks, Dr. Stein. Now I don’t feel so guilty 🙂
Glad to hear it!
I was happy to learn so much more about a woman I already admired, Dr. Stein. And… having just gotten through a week of my life I will never forget because of a huge fear I have finally stared straight in the face (and yes, I am very proud of myself), I feel her words much more acutely. Such courage, and then she did her best to share her wisdom and to emulate kindness. She was a remarkable woman. This was, as always, a great and informative post!
Thank you, Patti. There is a major two volume biography about her. Her life was useful and rich.
Glad you took on something hard. Brava!
Thank you 🙂 I am taking a bow as I write this…
You deserve more than one, Patti!
🙂🙂🙂🙏
What a truly inspiring woman Dr. Stein. Thank you for sharing a bit about her, her life and her words.
She was still living and working when I was in school, Deb. She was known by everyone. FDR’s “Fireside Chats” over the radio made him seem both a friendly and confident presence in the homes of people who had never seen him and, by the way, didn’t know how much polio had impaired him. The country needed that reassurance during the Depression and WWI.
I was born during the Truman administration, past this sense of closeness to the President. Though their marriage was far from ideal, FDR and Mrs. Roosevelt represented something together that no President and First Lady since have been able to achieve. Thanks, Deb.
I have long been a fan of Eleanor R., she inspired me to face a lot of things from my past and to embrace my healing. I’ve included a few of her quotes in my books, she is so timely! Her wisdom is borne from her suffering and her difficulties, which I believe in turn gives others courage to face their difficulties! She walked before us, we follow!
The last line is priceless, Tamara! Thank you.
I found I got so much strength from her, Louise Hay, Maya Angelou and other inspirational women. I felt they had in many ways walked the same paths I had, felt the same depth of despair, and they overcame. It encouraged me to read their words, for I could feel the depth of their experience in their writings.
Your story is especially interesting, Tamara, in describing the way in which people who we never met can have a profound and positive influence on us. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Thanks so much Dr. Stein. Yes, I find it interesting too!
“The problem with anxiety is that it waits with infinite patience.” This is pure genius. For those of us with persistent anxiety, What Eleanor Roosevelt suggests is easier said than done. She may have had her struggles, but to say “Just do it” can be demoralizing, too.
By the way, Ricardo, you have my best wishes in dealing with the anxiety you describe. I will be rooting for you.
It was not my intention to make it sound easy, Ricardo. Small steps are required, at the very least. Mrs. Roosevelt was remarkable in her ability to take on her difficult situation unaided and with no psychological expertise available at the time. That said, Teddy Roosevelt was her uncle. She had an impressive genetic inheritance that might have enabled her uncommon courage to some degree. Thanks for your comment.
She was definitely ahead of her time! Face our fears … great advice!
You are right, Brian. She touched all the bases. She lobbied her husband to do more for the African-American population, but he told her he needed the votes of the Southern states and was immovable on that point. Thanks, Brian.
Wow – what a rousing essay, Dr. Stein! I feel like getting out of my chair and tackling that wasp nest in the bush!
Thanks for a beautiful post about Eleanor Roosevelt. Not only did a learn a lot but you really painted a beautiful picture of her inside and out. It seems like good character isn’t developed when you reach a level of importance or renown so fortunately some people like Mrs. Roosevelt have earned it along the way.
Thanks for the inspiration and history!
Rousing is a response my writing has never produced before, Wynne. I will remember it, and you for saying it. I’m glad you enjoyed the essay and were inspired by it. The First Lady was one of a kind. Thank you.